...topside, where Chrissssty's attacking a barbecued chicken leg with both hands and gaping maw at an outdoor café to the general consternation of all her fellow patrons, including Phoebe and The Retard. "All right!" the Feebs finally snaps. "Utensils!" Sheepish Chrissssty, shamefaced, apologizes before moaning, "I'm a freak! I'm never gonna get this." Phoebe urges her to relax and concentrate, so what does Chrissssty do? Why, set her plate of food ablaze with her wacky pyrokinesis, of course! Phoebe hoots and yodels and douses the fire with the contents of her water glass before deciding they need to put an end to this little experiment in fine dining. She tosses some cash at The Retard to cover the bill and, promising to meet them back at the Manor after she's run a few errands, bolts. Marnette Patterson inexplicably amuses me by pulling this massive pouty face and batting at the barbecue stains on her cheek with one perfectly manicured hand.

Phoebe, meanwhile, is so preoccupied with the contents of her purse that she rams right into Victor Webster, formerly of Days Of Our Lives, very briefly of Emily's Reasons Why Not, and currently making me giddy and light-headed because, I'm sorry, but did the temperature not just rocket up about thirty-seven degrees when he appeared on the screen? Woof. In any event, Phoebe barely acknowledges Victor's existence before continuing on her way. For some reason, this visibly outrages The Retarded Bimbo, who rises from her café seat to gasp and splutter before lumbering after the Feebs while screaming, "Hey, missy! Hel-lo!" "That guy was totally hot," she continues once she's caught Phoebe's attention, "he was checking you out -- what are you doing?" Phoebe basically tells The Retard to can it. "Let's just focus on [Chrissssty]," she rather curtly suggests with much waving of hands, "otherwise, we're gonna have to deal with The Wrath Of Piper." Wise words from one so dim. What the hell is going on tonight? Who are these occasionally entertaining people, and what are they doing on this ass show? Oh, fuck it. I can't pretend to care anymore, because CANCELLED! Woot! In any event, with that, Phoebe flees the scene. The Retard gapes. Shut up, Retard.