After another flash of white, we're back down in Zar's lair, where the demon of the chamber is pressing an athame against his second-in-command's throat while baying, "How could you fail?" The hench-imp hastens to explain that they didn't fail, exactly, as the desired warning was indeed issued, albeit without the necessary elaboration. "Cyril was incinerated by a Charmed One!" Zar howls, and it's so nice that the attractive and quickly vanquished minion gets a proper name, and yet we still don't know who the hell this hench-imp is, isn't it? CANCELLED! BOO-YA! Suck it, Kern! In any event, the hench-imp quickly fills Zar in on the apparent Manor sitch with regards to Chrissssty and her mad firestarting skillz. Zar, intrigued by the news, determines that Chrissssty is likely The Ultimate Power he heard so much about when he was a member of The Triad, and concocts a scheme to abscond with her from the aboveground. If, as his reasoning goes, he can manage to convince the Ps that Chrissssty was kidnapped by the actual Zombie Triad themselves, the Glamorous Ladies will have that much more reason to kill them.

Back on the Paramount backlot, Darling Henry gazes wistfully through the window of a jewelry store as the employees within close up shop for the evening. Raige jiggles up behind him spouting apologies and excuses, Darling Henry glums something passive-aggressive in return, and the two strike off down the sidewalk in a mutual pedebitch that involves not only their conflicting wedding ideals, but also their clashing toothpaste strategies. Don't ask. No, seriously: Don't ask. "By the way," Raige eventually peeves, "I am not wearing a veil!" "How can you get married without wearing a veil?" Darling Henry flails. "If you want one so much," Raige snaps, "you wear it!" And with that, she stomps out of the frame, Darling Henry blubbering incoherently after her.

Meanwhile, over at The Hagquarters, Chrissssty and The Retard bond over a compact and a bit of blush for a while until Phoebe enters to adorn Chrissssty's decidedly non-maggoty neck with one of Phoebe's own baubles. Just then, Victor Webster unexpectedly barges through Phoebe's door, much to Phoebe's bug-eyed consternation, and much to The Retard's lispy delight. Victor plays it off like he just moved in to the condominium directly below Phoebe's and must have exited the elevator on the wrong floor, but that's not even remotely believable, so we'll just wave goodbye to him for now and continue with the scene at hand, because you know he's going to explain the real reason for his presence in excruciating detail later on, so whatever. The ladies jaw about Victor for a bit before Chrissssty rises to slip into another of Phoebe's fashion atrocities. The Retard moves to assist her, but Chrissssty's all, "Excuse me! I think I can dress myself by now!" so The Retard drops her oddly proportioned ass back onto Phoebe's divan while Chrissssty heads into The Hagquarters Boudoir alone. Once there, she swings the door shut to reveal Zar, lurking in the corner dressed as a member of The Triad. Chrissssty's barely allowed enough time to squeak out a gasp of fright before Zar quite violently pimp-smacks her straight through one of the posts of Phoebe's canopied bed and all the way across the mattress, where she lands in a tangled heap on the floor at the far side of the room. That was probably the best stuntwork I've seen all season on this godforsaken show. Pity my new best girlfriend Dawn Ostroff CANCELLED IT YESTERDAY. Hee! Anyway, Phoebe and The Retard, noting the ungodly racket, race to the Boudoir and arrive just in time to watch Zar melt through the floorboards in a dissolving black smear of a column, the unconscious Chrissssty in his arms. "The Triad!" Phoebe whispers, the second before she and The Retard are swallowed by the next commercial break.