Charmed
Engaged And Confused

Episode Report Card
Demian: C | 1 USERS: C
YOU GRADE IT
Engaged And Confused

After a brief spin around the top of the Transamerica Pyramid (which...what?), we arrive at the Manor, where Piper's howling something about glassware in the dining room while The Retard instructs Chrissssty on the finer points of celebratory champagne toasts. "Why clink?" Chrissssty quite reasonably wonders. Unfortunately, she's asking The Retard, so yeah. No answers will be forthcoming at any point in the foreseeable future. Chrissssty next rather predictably gulps when instructed to sip, then proceeds to demolish an entire tray of glasses when she rips the cloth napkin from beneath to wipe her mouth. I mention each detail only because of something that happens much later in the episode so, you know, just tuck it all away somewhere for now. Piper exits the dining room to answer the doorbell just as Chrissssty discovers the joys of corkscrews.

Over in the foyer, Piper opens the door to find two uniformed officers of the law on the front porch, and one of them is actually Zar's hench-imp in cop drag, so I'm gonna go out on a limb, here, and assume that his rather attractive partner is another demonic minion. Long story short, the hench-imp's decided that the best way to inform the Manor Morons of The Triad's resurrection is to dress up like a policeman and issue vague warnings about "suspicious activity lately around [their] home," because everyone on this (gloriously CANCELLED!) show is an idiot. Piper, of course, frowns upon hearing all of this and advances upon them with a wary "What is this about, exactly?" "We got word there may be an attempt on your life," the attractive minion blurts, eliciting a rather amusing glare of incredulous exasperation from the hench-imp. "What?" Piper bites. "By who?" "You've come across Them before," the hench-imp unhelpfully explains as Chrissssty and The Retard tentatively edge themselves into the main hall. "'Them'?" Piper eyebrows before cutting through the crap and demanding to know, "Who are you guys?" The attractive minion sucks in his cheeks and glares at the hench-imp all, "I told you this was a shitty, shitty idea." The hench-imp, meanwhile, looks like he's about to wet his pants in terror. Heh. Raige stumbles upon the scene from above to natter something entirely unimportant about her latest tiff with Darling Henry, just as Chrissssty's telepathic mojo makes her clutch at her temples in pain. Back at the door, the hench-imp babbles, "Look, this is a friendly visit -- we're just here to warn you that there are...beings who you thought you dealt with but haven't." He's barely gotten that last bit out when the camera shudders in tight on Chrissssty's grimacing face. "They're demons!" she groans through clenched teeth. "The Triad's back!" the hench-imp finally shouts. "Beware!"

The attractive minion, meanwhile, has had more than enough of this ridiculous ruse and wings a Flaming Ball Of Death at Piper's head. She flies out of the way, landing on the upholstered bench in the alcove next to the door, and the FBOD smashes through a vase of flowers Piper had just placed on the chest of drawers in the front hall. Piper flings out her Mighty Hands Of Discontent in the hench-imp's direction, but he snipers to the floor at the last second, allowing the explosive mojo to burst harmlessly in mid-air. The attractive minion next hurls another FBOD at Chrissssty and The Retard, but they, too, manage a dodge, and the FBOD simply destroys the lavish heart-shaped floral arrangement on the dining room table. As the attractive minion conjures yet another FBOD, Chrissssty presses her fingers against her temples and thinks real hard for a second. In a rather surprising advancement for her base power, the resulting pyrokinetic pulse instantly envelops the attractive minion in a cloud of fire, and he quickly howls and explodes on his merry way to The Waste Land. "Ssssa-weeet!" ssssingssss The Retard. Piper scowls at the surviving hench-imp, who cringes and reflexively squiggles the hell away from there with a tiny whimper of fear. Hee. "Did he just say 'Triad'?" Piper shrieks. Chrissssty pants and mewls while Mugs McGowan goes pie-eyed with the exaggerated and grotesque grimacing before Piper glares her way into the first commercial break, and that entire scene was far more entertaining than it had any right to be.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14Next

Charmed

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP