Charmed
Engaged And Confused

Episode Report Card
Demian: C | 1 USERS: C
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Engaged And Confused

Nonexistent Attic. Raige enters to receive some unwelcome news from Piper: The latter's Book abuse has revealed that "there's no known way to vanquish" the Zombie Triad. Except, of course, for blowing them up, stabbing them, or breaking their necks. This stupid show. Meanwhile, the even stupider Retard's been babbling the truncated version of the "To Call A Lost Witch" spell over and over again in a fruitless attempt to drag Chrissssty back to the Manor, much to Piper's readily apparent annoyance. Heh. Just detonate her worthless ass and be done with already, Piper. You know you want to. Raige offers a few words of comfort to The Retard before retrieving a crystal to scry for Chrissssty.

"You have no idea who you're dealing with!" a surprisingly forceful Chrissssty seethes down in Hell. She's still bound and blindfolded, by the way, but I've a feeling that won't be lasting much longer. Zar and the hench-imp smirkily discuss their plan to keep Chrissssty in the Crystical cage until the battle between the Glamorous Idiots and The Zombie Triad is over, despite Chrissssty's continuing screams for them to release her immediately. Finally tiring of the bullshit, Chrissssty directs a bit of pyrokinetic mojo at the ropes binding her hands, and they almost instantly drop away from her wrists. Ripping the blindfold from her eyes, she emits a high-pitched squeal and -- in a power display I do hope makes more sense at some point in the future, because it sure as hell makes no sense here -- directs a massive blast of pyrokinesis outwards from her body, demolishing the Crystical cage and immolating the nameless hench-imp before knocking Zar onto his ass at the far side of the underground chamber. "Now it's your turn," Chrissssty glowers, advancing upon the remaining demon, but before she can fry his ass as well, she vanishes in a swirling cloud of glowing golf balls that yank her all the way back up to...

...the nonexistent attic, where she continues her menacing advance for a few steps before pulling herself up short in confusion once she realizes where she is. The Retard is way stoked that her spell worked, not realizing, of course, that the only reason it did so was because Chrissssty first blew apart the Crystical cage down in Hell -- information that Chrissssty is choosing not to share, for some reason. "I was in a cage," she explains vaguely, stammering a bit for effect. "I got out, but then they came after me again." Piper rises from her seat at the table in the center of the room to ask, "What did they want -- did they say?" "I don't know," Chrissssty lies before adding, "I was scared." Piper places her hands on her hips and grits, "The Triad is going to figure out where she is sooner or later -- we need to stop them when we have the chance." Raige orbs out immediately to retrieve Phoebe from The Hagquarters, or wherever the hell she's supposed to be at the moment, while Piper wonders if Chrissssty's okay. Chrissssty assures both remaining women that she's fine, and exits alone to head downstairs to Suicide Boudoir and rest for a while. Piper and The Retard watch her leave, then lock eyes with each other for whatever reason.

Down on the main floor, Chrissssty slinks through the center parlor onto the sun porch, glances around carefully to ensure she's alone, and then rather distractedly presses her hands against the sides of her head. Up pops The Zombie Triad through the floor in formation around her. As the camera tracks slowly in on her face, Chrissssty too calmly allows her hands to drop to her sides before announcing in tones far more composed and confident than we've ever heard her use before, "Someone's impersonating you." DUN! She cocks a brow and smirks, shaking her head slightly at the sheer stupidity of that certain someone until the camera zooms towards her right eye and into the next commercial break.

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Charmed

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