Exit Strategy

Episode Report Card
Demian: C+ | Grade It Now!
Exit Strategery

Attic. The Demon Be Gone, in a rather attractive goblet, darkens to a deep red. Jenna tells the Dolt the potion is ready. Ian squiggles into the attic to fling an FBOD at the Dolt. Can he do that? I thought a demon had to be invited into the manor before he could access the attic. You know, like a vampire. Wasn’t that the whole point of Cole making some lame excuse about needing to use their bathroom in order to gain entry way back in “Once Upon A Time”? Whatever. The FBOD shatters the Dolt into an orb cloud on impact. The cloud swirls backwards onto the floor and coalesces into a very unconscious Whitelighter. Jenna claps her hands over her mouth in brief horror, then turns to raise the amulet to ward off Ian. From the chair, Cole orders Ian to “leave her out of this.” Ian ignores him. “I serve with every breath,” Jenna chants, “even my last.” Ian “would love to take [her] up on that,” but chooses instead to hurl an FBOD her way. The amulet spits out its shield. The force of the FBOD knocks Jenna into a wall anyway. She blacks out and falls to the carpet. The amulet, torn from her neck, drops from her limp hand. Phoebe pounds on the attic door, attempting to enter, but a mound of debris blocks her access. Ian strides over to Cole, who has risen to his feet from the chair. Ian smarms out a demonic pep talk, urging Cole to vanquish Jenna. “Is she really worth risking your father’s soul?” he asks. Prue pushes up behind Phoebe and tosses a little TK. The attic door twitches open a few inches, allowing Phoebe to peer inside. She witnesses Ian passing a hand across Cole’s face. Cole wails mightily in anguish and morphs up into Belthazor. Belthazor shoots an FBOD into Jenna’s prone form, and she vanishes in a veil of fire. Ian squiggles out in triumph. Phoebe calls out Cole’s name, and we cut to black.

They cancelled Grosse Pointe in favor of The Oblongs? Idiots.

Attic. Aftermath. Recriminations. Vague apologies. Lame excuses. Lots of shouting. The Ps cluster around the Dolt. Piper accuses Cole of trying to kill her husband. Cole blames everything on Ian’s influence. “I had no choice,” he bleats. “There’s always a choice,” Phoebe shouts. Well, maybe, unless Ian wiped a little evil Bi Krap voodoo into Cole’s brain there, Miss Snippy McJudgment. Cole looks like he’s suffering from a scathing case of malaria, made worse by a tequila hangover. He weakly reaches for the goblet of Demon Be Gone. Phoebe snatches it away from him, telling him it’s too late. He roasted an innocent; redemption is now beyond his reach. Cole pleads with her. He didn’t mean to toast Jenna. He “can still be good.” “There isn’t anything good left in you” is her icy reply. “Maybe there never was,” Prue opines as she crosses to the BoS. The jerrybuilt plot point of the conveniently-appearing amulet spell is used against Our Favorite Demon. Perhaps Cole’s plan all along was to swallow the Demon Be Gone in order to steal the BoS. Perhaps he could then use the spell to activate the charm. Perhaps the Boys of Bi Krap would then be able to use the charm against the sisters. Perhaps the “writers” could have put a little more effort into this evening’s script. Not buying a damn bit of this, but I have to admit that all involved are doing the best they can with the material. Cole spins away from them, clutching his head and tearing his hair all angsty and confused. He pulls himself together, turns, and begs, “You gotta believe me.” Piper shoots a frosty “maybe she’s believed you one too many times” from her seat on the floor. Cole snaps his head around and spits, in Belthazor’s voice, “Stay out of this!” That’s my boy. He again suppresses the devil inside to pant, “This is between me and her,” indicating Phoebe. Phoebe asserts that there is no longer anything between them. Cole whines her name and tells her she can’t let Ian “take this away from us. [She] can’t let him win. Save me.” “Save yourself,” Phoebe grunts, and smashes the goblet of Demon Be Gone at his feet. Cole gazes sadly at her. She glares right back at him. Piper looks away in disgust. Prue’s eyes are a little moist, but that could be allergies. Cole shudders and pants as if he’s about to break down and cry. He squiggles out, defeated.

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