Exit Strategy

Episode Report Card
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Exit Strategery

Okay, I’ve tried to wrap my poor little brain around this, and all I ended up with was a headache. If evil can’t benefit from it, why split it up in the first place? Why not give the damn thing to the Charmed Ones, who as we are reminded weekly are the Most Powerful Force Of Good Ever? If the point of the split was to offer enhanced protection to powerful witches of a lesser order than the Halliwells, then why did a stupid blonde who lacked the sense to get the hell away from further demon attacks have a half? Rrrgh.

Anyway, the three decide that the other half of the charm must be found as quickly as possible. Prue agrees to search for it with Piper so that Phoebe can return to the manor to work on the Demon Be Gone formula for Cole. Speaking of Piper, where is the harridan? Back at the manor, the Dolt tells them. Why? “Well, we had a little problem at the passport office,” he allows. What problem? “She sorta blew some of it up.” Phoebe and Prue unhinge their jaws. Their chins drop to the floor while they goggle in disbelief. Good look for you girls. Not.

Cavern Of The Bi Kraps. Cole fiddles absently with the amulet while he awaits Ian’s return. The Freak waits with him, and the two snipe at each other a bit. So sad when love goes wrong, isn’t it? Ian squiggles in, uttering an apology about the other “business [he had] to attend to.” He asks for the amulet, and Cole hands over. Ian then jovially asks for the gruesome details of the mission: “Was it a beautiful death?” Cole responds with “huh?” noises. He didn’t kill the witch in question because, he lies, doing so would have alerted the Halliwells to the theft. Ian reveals that the “other business” he had was whacking the blonde. “Don’t make me clean up after you again, Belthazor,” he warns. The Freak asks to be given the next amulet-related assignment. Ian wants Cole to do it. He passes his hand across Cole’s face again, and sends him on his way with another warning: “Find the witch, and this time show no mercy.” A poker-faced Cole squiggles out. “Think he’ll do it?” asks the Freak. “You keep putting the bottle in front of him, sooner or later he’s going to take a drink,” is Ian’s reply. Even if that doesn’t happen, Ian has further “insurance” to assure Cole’s compliance. Ian raises his left hand, and a glowing white orb materializes between his fingers. This is where that nefarious twiddling would be useful. Alas, Ian’s face remains hair-free. Wish I could say the same for the Freak.

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