"You must be a pretty powerful witch to be able to come here from the future!" the thankfully now-dressed Patty kvells as she leads the gang down the stairs to the main hall. Patty's sporting something paisley-patterned and flowing beneath a macramé vest, but as we shall presently learn, it's 1975, so she gets a pass from me. Everybody dressed like shit in the '70s. In response to Patty's misplaced enthusiasm over her supposed powers, Piper mumbles something about Stoop's ring that leads to an endless round of miscommunication between parents and daughter before Piper decides her current mission necessitates full disclosure of future events, despite the fact that said disclosure might screw up the past. Or, as she puts it when the Dolt frets about Imparting Too Much Information While Time-Traveling, "We gotta tell them something. I mean, how are we gonna figure out why we're here?" Oooh! Oooh! I know this one! Pick me, Piper! Pick me! It's because Daddy Dearest just now knocked TEETH! up with the Feebs! Am I right? Huh? AmIamIamIamIamIamIhuh? I'm so totally right, because The Importance Of Phoetal Phoebe was a plot point from the first goddamned season, and this stupid fucking show ran out of original ideas seven years ago. In any event, after much hemming and hawing, Piper steps on a white stuffed bunny she remembers from her childhood and finally thinks to ask, "How old am I now, in your time?" "Almost three" is the answer, which means The Late Lamented's five, and Phoebe's yet to be born. After more blundering about the issue, the Dolt at long last realizes I'm right, and TEETH!'s womb leaps with joy. Blow it out your uterine ass, Inanimate Object I Am Anthropomorphizing For The Sake Of This Recap. Even Phoetal Phoebe pisses me off.
Episode Report CardDemian: B- | 1473 USERS: B-
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