"That's cheating!" Old Piper chides. "I'm not asking you," Old Dolt sniffs, "I'm asking me." He points a gnarled finger at, um, I can't really call him "Young Dolt," can I? Because, you know...not so much. Yeah. Dolt Dolt freaks for a bit, exchanging gape-mouthed goggles with the wife, before offering his older self, "Z." Old Piper grimaces, because that would have been a pretty sweet fifty-one points, but she removes the tiles as her younger self, still not getting it, begins, "Are you...?" "The future you and [Dolt]," Old Dolt confirms, and I suppose here's as good a point as any to note that they outdid themselves with the casting of Old Piper. Ellen Geer really could pass as Holly Marie Combs's older self, though it is a bit insulting that this 64-year-old actress is supposed to be, without benefit of prosthetics, an 83-year-old woman in this scene. Whatever. Last! Episode! Ever! "We've been expecting you," Old Dolt continues, and Old Piper backs this up by offering the arrivals the chocolate-chip cookies she'd baked in anticipation of their visit. Patty and Dolt Dolt are delighted. Meanwhile, Piper Piper's wondering when she's going to be done with the stupid fucking Wacky Wiccan Hijinks already. Thirty-one minutes and thirty seconds, doll. Hooray! The spunky elderly marrieds twinkle in the soft, warm light of the sun porch for a moment before vanishing into the first commercial break.
Future Sun Porch. Aftermath. "I just don't understand how..." Piper Piper begins. "You were aiming for Grams, but you weren't specific enough," Old Piper explains, chuckling for whatever reason, "so you came to the future where you're the Grams instead, and here I am!" Piper Piper's as shocked as the audience to discover that Big Gay Chris and "I Conjured The Village People For My Third Birthday" Jesus have spawned. "Blows your mind, doesn't it?" Old Piper grins. You have no idea, old lady. The Dolt wants to know how the elderly marrieds knew they were coming. "Because fifty years ago," Old Dolt reveals, "we were sitting there where you're sitting, talking to our future selves." And they make note of the date during this scene...when, exactly? Oh, that's right: Never, because this show sucks, and I want to die, but WHATEVER! because CANCELLED! Hooray! Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. Old Dolt and Old Piper wax nostalgic for a very lengthy while before Old Piper begins to instruct their younger selves on what, precisely, they'll need to accomplish in order to save Phoebe and Raige. This leads to the following exchange: