The Ps glance grimly at each other before Phoebe mentions their one advantage: They know they're reliving the day, whereas The Cleaners seemingly haven't a clue. Raige rolls her eyes and starts to gripe, but Piper, leaping into action, orders them both to zip it. "Go to the Book and work on the dragon," she tells them as she bounds up the stairs, "and don't take your eyes off [Tiny Gay Chris]." "Where are you going?" Raige asks. "To call a higher power," Piper yells, disappearing. Phoebe and Raige frown.
Bridal Boudoir. Piper storms in, bellowing for the Dolt. The bastard makes her beg for a little while, then finally orbs in when Piper screams that Tiny Chris is in trouble. She quickly fills him in on the situation, and the Dolt immediately gets pissy. "How could you let this happen?" he demands. Piper loses it, and it is indeed a thing of beauty: "How could I let this happen? You take off, and suddenly I'm responsible for every little thing? Where the hell were you? Why weren't you watching over his every little move from your lofty perch?" You know, if this whole divorce thing leads to a season full of Dolt-bashing, I'm all for it. Speaking of Dolt-bashing, what the hell is up with his hair? They spackled some gel onto it but neglected to brush it out, so he's got this immensely stoopid claw jutting up from the crown of his head. Jesus Christ. Whatever. Holly's acting the hell out of this scene, and I can't waste any more time on this asshole than I already have. "I'm beating myself up enough already about this," Piper continues, "and I don't need you beating me up, too." When the Dolt interrupts Piper's tirade to insist that she doesn't understand The Cleaners' purpose, Holly gets in a terrific line reading with, "No, you don't understand. I cannot do this! I cannot lose Wyatt too!" See? So good was the line reading, I used the brat's real name. The Dolt drops his attitude to deliver one of his endlessly boring pep talks, "you weren't put in this position to lose [Chris]" and "there is a way" and "maybe it's a maternal solution" and you know what, Dolt? If you're going to be so fucking useless in times of crisis, you might as well orb the fuck back to wherever it is you came from and leave us all the hell alone. Piper bites her lower lip and seethes.