"Sit!" barks Elise the moment Phoebe's closed the door. "I wanted to talk to you alone before I involved any lawyers," she begins, barely suppressing her rage. "I'm not going to pretend that the only reason you're still working here is because you're an asset to the paper, but what the hell came over you yesterday?" Hmmm. Interesting choice of words for a newspaper editor, Elise, and I'm sure their underlying meaning sailed straight over the dimwit's head. I'm convinced that were she not worried about her own job security, Elise would have come right out and said, "I'm not going to pretend the only reason you're still working here is because you're an asset to the paper, because everyone knows that's a lie, because everyone also knows the owner's been fucking your hack ass on his desk. So, what the hell was yesterday about, you brainless slut?" And this is why I love Elise. Brava. Anywho, Elise elaborates as follows: "Three workers are out with injuries. Jackie has a broken nose! Not to mention --" and here Elise points rather vehemently at her bruised eye. "Elise, I'm sorry, but I honestly have no idea what you're talking about." "Phoebe!" Elise cries, latching onto the halfwit's arms and hurling her into a pastel-colored premonition. Phoebe wallops some guy in the jaw, then pitches another face-first into the copier. When Phoebe snaps out of it, she immediately feigns consumption, and tries to bark up a lung as she scampers out of the office. Elise folds her arms and fumes.
Elsewhere in the city, Piper's loading supplies into the Grand Cherokee when she spots a harried Latino struggling with a mewling infant in one arm and an overstuffed bag of groceries in the other. Latino Man drops a jumbo pack of product-placed diapers -- they're Huggies! -- on the sidewalk, so Piper scurries over to help. She instructs Latino Man to jiggle his brat a little bit and make shushing sounds. Latino Man does so, and the kid shuts up. "How'd you calm him down so fast?" Latino Man asks. Piper notes that "the shushing sound's supposed to remind them of the womb," which I think is total bullshit, but whatever. I'll not be opening my apartment to any pants-wetting imbeciles anytime soon, so it's not like this information would be of any use to me even if it were true. Moving right along, then. Piper and Latino Man natter for a bit about parenting, and he's surprised to learn she has no children of her own. Piper admits that she always wanted one but never got around to it. Realizing she's oversharing, she hastily mumbles her goodbyes and absently turns to leave, still clutching the Huggies. Latino Man clears his throat. Piper apologizes profusely, returns the diapers to their proper owner, and heads back to the car, a little freaked.