Nonexistent Attic. Aftermath. Raige orbs in with Phoebe to fill the waiting Piper in on recent National League developments. Raige then wonders how the annoying little fuckers are faring, and so retrieves the shillelagh she'd been given during an episode I'm trying desperately to forget, and uses it to summon The Man From Another Place and The C.S.I. Piñata back from Not!warts. As they'd been sitting on a sofa over there, they of course find themselves tumbling onto their wee behinds in the nonexistent attic, and this seems to be the final insult. The C.S.I. Piñata huffily snatches the shillelagh from Raige's hands, orders her never to bother them again, and rainbows on out of there with The Man From Another Place. "What's wrong with them?" Phoebe eyebrows. "I don't know," Raige admits, "but it's not good." It's never good, Raige. Nothing on this show is ever good, so knock it off with the pouting and the eye-rolls and the puckery lips of self-pity, you twitchy bastard.

For some inexplicable reason, the Glamorous Ladies continue the processing summit already in progress by exiting the attic and descending the stairs to the main hall. Piper, of course, has everything figured out -- Chrissssty and The Ultimate Retard, likely with the assistance of whomever's supposedly manipulating them, convinced the annoying little fuckers that...hey. Didn't we go through all of this shit three scenes ago? We did! Well, I'll be damned if I type it all out again. Go fuck yourself, Charmed. What is new is the Piper's realized that The Sisters Retard intend to turn the entire "magical community" against the Halliwells, thereby isolating them, thereby leaving them even more vulnerable to attack. Phoebe flees for The Hagquarters to make sure Stoop hasn't fallen for this bullshit plot point, while Piper heads up the stairs again to retrieve Phoebe's earlier list of Stoopid Magikal Kreatures. Raige, meanwhile, intends to confront the annoying little fuckers regarding the...whatever. CANCELLED!

Not!wartzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Snorf? Oh, yeah. This scene. Fugly Rufus summons The Triad to explicate the next phase of his plan. Long story short, he intends to whammy the gals with diabolical distractions that have addled their puny brains in the past, rendering them unable to protect the Stoopid Magikal Kreatures when said Kreatures will need said protection the most. And how does he know which diabolical distractions to use? Maggot Neck's diary, of course, which he flares onto the palm of his hand, and as everything that follows from this runs roughshod over both continuity and common sense, I'll be getting through it as quickly as possible, okay? Okay. First up, the witch doctors. "That should work quite nicely on [Raige]," Fugly Rufus notes. The screen flares white to whip us over to...