Phoebe, slung into low-riding black leather pants and an absolutely ludicrous top stitched together from the remains of a lavender leotard and a pair of black opera gloves, jiggles into the attic to place unreasonable demands upon her otherwise-occupied sisters. Specifically, she insists that Raige immediately brew a Cole vanquish using those drops of acidic blood he left on last week's letter opener. Phoebe also unloads a season's worth of backstory, referencing her two weeks as queen of the Underworld, Cole's direct attempt on Raige's life, and, finally, the bizarre new mojo Cole swiped from the Waste Land. Piper and Raige, with preternatural patience, calmly endure Phoebe's expository tirade, then eye her balefully as Phoebe jiggles out of the attic to head to her office.
Raige rises to cross to the Book of Shadows while Piper glares into the camera, and the shot tracks back from Piper's peeved expression to bubble through the magical mirror over in Grampy's fairy tale castle. Little Rusty gloats that Cloris will never be able to destroy the Charmed Ones. Cloris begs to differ, as she has a museum full of powerful trinkets with which to assault them. Rusty's horrified. Using the "props" to promote the cause of evil would "change the meaning" of the stories they represent and "shift them away from good." Suspend the disbelief, people. You'll only hurt yourselves if you don't. Cloris crosses to the Big Book Of Fairy Tales, flips to the chapter on Snow White, and summons the story's woodsman from the chapter's illustration. Join me, won't you, for A Nancy Kerrigan Moment: Whyyyyy? WHYYYYY? Seriously, Cloris, why the Woodsman from that story? Everyone and his three-year-old niece knows the Woodsman defied the queen. Rather than hacking up Snow White and returning to the castle with her heart so the Evil Queen could toss it into a salad, he took pity on Miss White and hacked up, like, a ferret or something instead. Don't believe me? Ask Lana Lang. The same thing just happened to her the other night on the Hallmark Channel when one of those IRA terrorists from The Crying Game sent a pocket-sized Raul Julia into the forest with an axe. True story. Cloris doesn't listen to me. Rather, she summons the Woodsman, hands him a hefty, gleaming hatchet, and instructs him to "bring [her] the heart of the witch who's as white as snow." That would be Raige, right? I'm guessing, here. The Woodsman nods his head all "whatever," and leaves. Cloris returns to Rusty and orders him to show her "the witch who's been burned by love."