Happily Ever After

Episode Report Card
Demian: B | Grade It Now!
Crappily Ever After

As the Dolt scampers down the stairs to apply the tingly touch to Raige's pimp-slapped noggin, the camera tracks back through the Mirror Mirror. Rusty fades into the glass to snipe, "Try as you might, fairy tale magic ends at midnight." Cloris remains unconcerned. The Woodsman might have failed, but she herself won't. She retrieves a red apple and the Lucite pumps from their respective pedestals, gestures with a flourish of her free hand, and smokes on out into the commercial break.

Attic. Raige and Grams head to the Book of Shadows to research axe-wielding demons while Piper crosses to her Big Book Of Fairy Tales on the sofa. The Dolt flails uselessly in the background. Despite the fact that no known demon stomps around with a hatchet, Raige insists that the guy had to have been Hell-sent. Piper disagrees and holds up the illustration of the Woodsman facing Snow White's entry. Raige protests the idea of fairy tales coming to life as patently ridiculous. Grams lays a little science on her granddaughters, noting that every fairy tale is based upon actual events. Raige makes "whatever" faces behind Grams's back. Shut up, Raige.

Meanwhile, down in the kitchen, Cloris smokes in with a gift-wrapped box, which she sets on the center island. She then draws the apple from a pocket in her cloak and places it carefully in a bowl of fruit further down the counter. Wicked tasks complete, she flourishes on out of there. Enter the Feebs, who instantly assumes the gift box is for her and opens it. Upon seeing its contents, Phoebe glares.

Up in the attic, the lecture continues. Grams reveals that the stories are actually retellings of ancient battles between good and evil. Raige finds this all more than a little difficult to believe until Piper and the Dolt remind her of her own past life as The Evil Enchantress. Raige, busted, sneers as Phoebe storms into the attic with the gift box. She pulls herself up short when she spots Grams, and the two embrace. After learning of the Woodsman's attack, the Feebs grinds her teeth and displays the Lucite pumps, proposing that Cole is up to his old tricks. Grams reminds Phoebe that an evil witch bears responsibility in the traditional stories, but Feebs isn't having it. Cole knows Cinderella is Phoebe's favorite fairy tale; therefore, Cole is to blame for the sudden appearance of the pumps. The Dolt decides that now would be an opportune moment to consult with the ever-useless Elders, and orbs out.

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