Hell Hath No Fury

Episode Report Card
Demian: B | 3 USERS: A+
Hell hath no fury like a Piper bitching.

To make a demon feel the pain he inflicts.
Let Cruelty, Pain,
And Evil Ways
Follow this Villain
Through all his Days.
Reverse the Torment
He creates
To turn on him
A crueler Fate.

"This could solve a lot of problems," she smirks, and digs through her bag for a pad of Post-Its and a pen. As she scribbles out a copy of the spell, the scene shifts to the sun porch below. The Dolt orbs in with an exasperated "What? What is it? What's wrong?" which he shoots at the waiting duo of Phoebe and Cole. "You've got to talk to your wife," Cole spits, and while I'm aware he was born around the time of the Great Chicago Fire, that still sounds unnecessarily condescending in an "all women are chattel" way, like, what the hell is the Dolt going to accomplish as far as Piper is concerned that Phoebe and Cole can't on their own? So, uh, shut up, Cole. And damn the writer who made me say that. Anyway, Phoebe and Cole manhandle and maul the exposition in an effort to get the Dolt up to speed on Piper's behavior as of late. If they're not careful, the exposition is going to slap them all with a harassment lawsuit, and I would have no problem testifying on the plaintiff's behalf. This is getting perverse. The Dolt, upon hearing of Piper's unusual anger, defends her right to be angry in the wake of her sister's death. Phoebe allows she wouldn't have so much of a problem were Piper acting out by "punching walls." The Dolt: "Huhnh?" Cole clarifies, "She prefers to punch demons." The Dolt promises to chat with the afflicted P. Cole clarifies further: "She has no regard for her life or anyone else's. She's Charles Bronson. Cubed." Feebs: "Who is Charles Bronson?" The Dolt gives Cole a "what's with the moron you're dating?" look, which Cole counters with a "say one thing about the little lady and you'll be singing soprano, dillweed" glare of his own. Snerk.

Phoebe asks for a moment alone with the Dolt. Cole relents and heads off to the kitchen for a beer or something. Phoebe stresses that Piper's anger isn't the only issue; she's also been "completely dismissive of Paige." Who? Oh -- Rose. I still hate the character's name. As the two cross to sink into a sofa, they blather about Phoebe's altered role in the new family dynamic developing around her. Long used to being the family "screw-up," she's finding it difficult to adapt to the role of "mediator." She understands for the first time how difficult Piper had it when Phoebe and Prue were constantly at each other's throats, while I wonder how the writer managed to sneak that reference to real-life bickering and catfights past Alyssa's addled little mind and into the script. The Dolt promises again to have a word with Piper, and the two hug. Phoebe suggests the Dolt get to it right away, as Piper's up in her boudoir scrying at that very moment. The Dolt orbs out in mid-hug, causing Phoebe to plow Fun Bags first into the cushions. "I didn't mean you couldn't use the stairs," she bellows. Ha. Hee. Not.

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