Hyde School Reunion

Episode Report Card
Demian: F | 1 USERS: B
"Pointless Filler Episode Number 128"

"I need your help," he begins. "I think I got Scabbars on my tail." "Oh," Piper delicately offers with widened eyes. "I've got some hydrogen peroxide in my bathroom." She's apparently not joking, so I don't know if that was an unsubtle "Big Gay Chris is a big gay bottom" crack or what, and more importantly, I don't want to go there, so I'll just note that Big Chris meant, of course, dark demonic forces sent from the flaming maw of Hell, and move on from there. Seems he's been doing a little undercover work with a pack of marauding Scabbar Demons -- and that sounds even dirtier than Piper's hydrogen peroxide line, like, Chris, you tramp -- and he believes they've discovered his deception. He blurts that he needs a cloaking spell and, after confirming that the Book of Shadows is in its customary place in the nonexistent attic, bolts up the stairs for a little Book abuse. Piper calls after him with an offer of assistance, but Big Gay Chris disappears upwards without acknowledging her. "He hates me," Piper grumbles. "No, he doesn't," Raige counters. "He's just distracted, that's all," she continues, following Piper back into the Bridal Boudoir. "You know, by imminent death." "That's no excuse!" Piper sings. Heh. "He's been avoiding me for weeks -- he won't even look at me. What could I have done in the future that was so bad?" Raige suggests a father-son chat, which Piper instantly nixes because the damned dirty Dolt knocked her up in a dank and forbidding alleyway and then dumped her ass. Or something like that. Besides, she reminds Raige, the Dolt doesn't even know she's carrying Fetal Gay Chris. "That's why I called my father," Piper exposits, "so he can figure out why his surly new grandson hates me." Just then, Piper's stomach executes a front-handspring step-out rounded-back-handspring step-out rounded-back-handspring with a full-twisting layout, so she toddles back to the bathroom to hurl. Piper's digestive tract is bank. Raige gingerly trails along after her, so that by the time Phoebe bounces into the Bridal Boudoir to seek their opinion on a slinky champagne-colored slip of a thing, the two have vanished. Phoebe crosses to the bed to retrieve her yearbook from atop the comforter, notes a "poem" inscribed on the flyleaf, and snickers to herself before reading it aloud:

Those who mock who I am:

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