Todd's wife enters at this juncture and, much like Missy Campbell, Homecoming Queen in this show's last reunion-themed episode, Paula will be assuming the mantle of The Bottle-Blonde Bitch Who Hates A Charmed One, Like, How Dare The Ungrateful Shrew Disdain One Of The Most Superwonderful, Superpowerful, Superfabulous Women This World Has Ever Seen? Paula leaps lustily into her assigned role, claiming Phoebe's a fake and a fraud and a slut. Ramona and Todd are horrified. I, meanwhile, fail to understand what their problem is. Phoebe really is a fake and a fraud and a slut. "To the rest of the world, you might be 'Ask Phoebe,'" Paula sneers, slithering on up into Phoebe's face. "But to us, you'll always be Freebie." Phoebe looks like she's going to cry, and silently spins to exit the ballroom. Raige shoots Paula a withering glare before chasing after her distraught sister.
"Why didn't you just tell that chick to go screw herself?" Raige howls as the two reach the lobby. Phoebe, gobsmacked by Paula's supposed insults, simply stares at the floor. The left NIPPLE takes this opportunity to opine, ".LOOHCS HGIH NI TULS YBBACS A GNIEB ROF STEG EHS TAHW S'TAHT" Phoebe finally flares and morphs into Phreebie for a moment before flaring and morphing back into her adult self. "Okay, what just happened?" she asks. "Why don't you tell me?" Raige yowls, flabbergasted. "I was just standing here," Phoebe explains, "and then I had some weird high-school flashback." "Yeah," Raige duhs, "your whole body just flashed back." ".YLETAIDEMMI KCAB HSALF D'UOY FI TI ETAICERPPA D'EW DNA," the right NIPPLE interjects. ".YZOC SAW TEKCAJ REHTAEL TEEWS TAHT" Raige announces that "the reunion is over," and snags Phoebe's hand to drag her back to the Manor.
Manor. Up in the kitchen, Piper, Daddy Dearest, and Big Gay Chris sit at the table and chat over some mugs of tea, or whatever. "So, we're close?" Victor asks Big Chris. "Yeah!" Big Chris grins. "You're awesome, Grandpa!" "Did you hear that?" Victor asks Piper, swelling with pride. "I'm awesome!" Snerk. "After the event happened," Chris explains, "we got really close." "What 'event'?" Piper demands. "Is it my fault? Is that why you're treating me like a non-person?" Big Gay Chris whips out his standard and lame "Can't discuss! Could alter the future! Wouldn't be prudent!" excuse, so Piper twists around in her chair and pouts. Victor tries his best to smooth things over, but mother and son are soon sniping away at each other until Big Gay Chris finally snaps, "I told you! I can't talk about it, okay?" "Hey," Victor warns with a bit of an easy smile on his face, "don't talk to your mother that way." Chris, chastened, apologizes and slumps back in his seat. Piper shoots him a pair of bemused eyebrows before the sounds of Phoebe and Raige's arrival enter the room from the main hall. Piper and Victor rise to exit, leaving Chris to sigh and wearily rub at his eyes.