Anyway, Big Gay Chris pouts his way into the room to snot, "Will you do something, please? I can't orb!" just as Buttfuck conjures a rather expensive-looking diamond bracelet onto Raige's wrist. Big Chris stares at the thing all, "Damn. Demian never gets me any nice presents, and I'm fucking married to him." To which I reply, "You ain't getting shit until you CUT YOUR GODDAMNED HAIR." Phoebe, distracted from tonight's important issue by all the shiny trinkets adorning her half-sister, suggests Raige have the other Montanagues speak with the errant Buttfuck. Raige impatiently reminds the Feebs that most of Buttfuck's relatives are dead. Saba, of all people, cuts through the Buttfuck crap (would that be "santorum"? Okay, sorry. That was uncalled for) to urge the Glamorous Ladies to focus on Bosk and the dread lost city of Zanbar. The camera tracks slowly in towards her face as she warns, "Bosk has been using his thieves to search for its former site. If he finds it and wishes it back, there will be no stopping him." She turns to Phoebe and adds, "That is why you must wish me free, Master. If I am not a genie, it will solve both your problems and mine -- I beg you." Big Chris chooses this moment to get loud about his missing orbs as Raige flares, smears, and refocuses in a totally fabulous black bias-cut evening gown. I'll say this for Buttfuck: He's got better taste than Eilish. Then again, that's not much of a compliment, now is it? Phoebe's teeny little brain threatens to overheat from the swirl of hijinks around her, so she orders Raige off to Castle Montanague to deal with Buttfuck before spinning around and promising to help Chris get his parents back together. "But it has to be on my terms," she warns. "Agreed?" Big Gay Chris nods his head, so Phoebe orders him to fetch Piper, as they could use her help in dealing with the demon. There's an amusing pause wherein the dimwit, clearly forgetting that she wished Chris's orbs away mere seconds ago, stares at him all, "Well? Why aren't you leaving?" Chris just returns the stare all, "Moron? No orbs, remember?" Phoebe finally snaps to and tells Saba, "I wish that he could orb." Saba genies, and Big Chris instantly disappears upwards. Phoebe next orders Saba to follow her to the attic for some Book abuse. "Yes, Master!" Saba replies. "Phoebe!" Phoebe corrects, vanishing into the hallway. "Yes, Master Phoebe!" Saba amends, jiggling along after her. Why in hell is this amusing me so much? My sad little mind. It's totally gone, isn't it?
Episode Report CardDemian: B+ | 587 USERS: B-
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