Is There A Woogy In The House?

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B | Grade It Now!
Get Down! Woogy Oogy Oogy!
Before I start, I just want to thank Demian for the episodes he selected for me to recap. Yes, "The Wendigo" bit, but I've since watched the two episodes between that one and the one I'm doing now, and wow. Not only did he spare me everyone promising that Barbas wouldn't return for 1300 years (Ha! Ha! Ha!) but also the absolutely putrescent and Dolt-heavy "Secrets and Guys," so he is truly a prince among recappers.

Heh. "Dolt-heavy." That didn't used to be redundant.

On the first floor of the Manor, everything suddenly starts shaking. The vibrations stop after a few seconds, but not before we the show's first glimpse of Grams, in the form of a picture on the slanted wall next to the lower leg of the staircase. I don't think we've seen that picture before or since, and I'm hardly surprised. Maybe Prue or Piper moved it to the Bimbo Boudoir in the hopes that Grams's stern visage would cow Phoebe into not being such a hag. If so, I think it's safe to say it didn't work. The three Ps come scuttling down the stairs to exposit that they just experienced an aftershock and not anything demonic. Yet. Phoebe natters that earthquakes give her the "jeebies," which is retarded, because you can't really have "jeebies" without "heebie," since that's the expression, but that's just a setup so Prue can teasingly ask, "The Phoebe-jeebies?" Twenty-seven seconds in, and I already want to kill someone. No wonder the Glamorous Ladies have had to fight for their lives so many times. Surfing into the kitchen on a wave of tiresome blather, the Ps kindly tell us about a smell that's coming from the basement. Prue wonders if it could be a gas leak. Piper starts to tell us that she called someone to come check it out, and hey! No need for a shower today, as the doorbell heralds my first Cleansing Burst of Synchronicity! Of course, that doesn't mean I won't be scrubbing the unclean feeling off myself later anyway. In fact, I'd lay odds.

Where was I? Oh, watching Piper leave to get the door, which allows Prue the chance to bitch to Phoebe about getting roped into hosting a dinner party at the Manor for some stupid Buckland's client. Well, she doesn't say it quite like that. Phoebe reassures Prue that with Prue hosting, Piper cooking, and Phoebe serving, the dinner will be a smashing success. Mentally mixing those ingredients, Prue freaks some more, and can you blame her? Piper and the gas man, who's been on every show you've ever heard of and plenty you haven't, thankfully interrupt this nonsense, and the gas man turns up his nose like he just smelled the shooting scripts of later seasons of the show. Prue freaks some more about the fact that a gas leak would mean they can't use the oven, but Piper calms her down, saying she can have the food cooked at [72virg=ins] and brought to the house. I wonder why they're not pursuing that plan anyway, but as we later find out, Prue's freaking out about a dinner for, at this point, five people including the three sisters, so Piper's calmness seems like the appropriate reaction. And by far the less irritating. Don't worry, she'll have her turn.

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