Is There A Woogy In The House?

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B | Grade It Now!
Get Down! Woogy Oogy Oogy!

Piper comes through the front door, struggling with her grocery bags. Hon, you might find it easier if you weren't carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. She shouts to no one in particular that she's a "culinary pachyderm," to which I really have no response. Other than "shut it." A light next to Piper shorts out, and then Kit scurries out the front door, proving once again that he's the smartest thing to reside in that house since Grams kicked the bucket. Anyway, Piper goes into the kitchen, and swirly camera work makes it look like the gas man came out of nowhere. Piper asks him about the gas, but she realizes from his body language that all is not right. She doesn't, however, attempt to freeze him, allowing him to pin her arms behind her as he reaches for a...barbecue fork. Well, let's go with it. Piper calls for Phoebe, who comes running in. A baseball bat materializes in her hand, and between a well-executed camera angle and good work from the Foley guys, I think this guy isn't exactly going to remember who's President when he wakes up. (It's 1999, remember, or I'd say "Lucky him.") Piper babbles for a second before wonderingly asking Phoebe where she got the bat. Phoebe, seemingly her normal self here, admits that it just appeared, and even starts to tell Piper that something weird happened to her in the basement, but appears to think better of it, and they hustle off to call 911. Since I've been pretty tough on this episode so far, I think it's only fair to say that I think it improves significantly from here. Am I going to be nice to it in that case, you ask? Oh, my. You're so young.

Outside, our Dimwitted Detective Duo is on the case, of course. Andy thinks something's up, as the gas man has an absolutely spotless record. Darryl...well, I know it's only my second Charmed recap, but I feel like y'all and I are growing closer, and can therefore admit to each other that NO ONE CARES ABOUT DARRYL, EVER. Prue bustles up, gets the skinny from Andy, and runs into the house. Piper tells her what happened, and asks Phoebe to show Prue her new "power," as Piper's jumped to the conclusion that the incident marks a power progression; Prue's skeptical, as the new "power" has nothing to do with premonition, and teasingly asks Phoebe if she cast a spell from the BoS. I'd be with Prue here if we were still in 1999, but since we're not, I wouldn't mind hearing how levitation follows from premonition, or how astral projection follows from telekinesis, or how martyrdom follows from the power to freeze...whoops, bad example. Anyway, Phoebe gets in a right snit and walks off, although La Milano underplays it rather well, I feel obliged to say. The camera follows her and stops in the picture of Grams, which is now upside-down. Don't worry about Grams, though -- she's sipping dirty martinis with Rock Hudson right about now. (Oh come on, you know she's a fag hag at heart.) Prue sarcastically notes that the evening is going to be fun, and Piper tries to soothe her. Heh. Right.

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