Charmed
It's A Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad World, Part II

Episode Report Card
Demian: B- | 1 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
The Passion Of The Chris, Part II

Oh. Um. Can I go back? Please? Shit. The Dolt eases Big Gay Chris onto the bed in the Bridal Boudoir and applies the tingly touch as Big Gay Chris, ever the martyr, insists that his father search immediately for his brother. The Dolt refuses until Chris gently pushes his hands away, reminding him that as Snidely's magic is responsible for the gaping hole in his stomach, only more of the same magic can heal him. Since that's extremely unlikely to happen at this point, the Dolt must find the Psycho "before the trauma turns him." Oh, Chris. I already told you. Your brother is destined to become Mangy Jesus, and there's nothing you can do about it. Save yourself. Alas, it is not to be, for Chris argues that despite appearances to the contrary, should the Dolt save the Psycho, the Dolt will save Big Gay Chris as well. The Dolt reluctantly stands to orb out, promising to return with one of Chris's aunts so as not to leave him alone in his five minutes of need. "You're going to be fine," the Dolt insists, bending to kiss Chris's forehead. "I promise." Aw. No, seriously. Aw. Bet you never thought I'd type that about the Dolt and mean it, now, did you? The camera shifts above Chris's death bed -- sniff! -- as the Dolt orbs up through the ceiling.

The Only Hospital In San Francisco, and if I had very little patience for this peppy crap before, it's entirely gone now that my husband is dying. Shut up, you stupid women. Long, long scene short, the Dolt orbs onto the maternity ward and berates his former sisters-in-law until the pinkish glow once more suffuses their bodies to indicate the passing of the spell's influence. Phoebe's to remain at the hospital, as Piper's being prepped for surgery. Raige will head back to the Manor to tend to my dying husband while the Dolt searches for that stupid, smug prick Snidely.

Manor foyer. Raige orbs in and calls out for Big Gay Chris. She's answered by a SWAT team that surges into the main hall, followed by Helium Doormat and the pink-clad Inspector Sheridan. Raige snarls at them to go to hell, and gets backhanded by Sheridan for her trouble. "Watch your tongue!" Sheridan chides. Raige glares back at her from the floor, defiant. Get back to Chris!

Dammit! Snidely's study. The Dolt angrily yanks open the arras to find the Pinhead on the opposite side of the mirror. The Dolt and the Pinhead bang their skulls together for a while, realize that their respective Snidelys are working with their respective Barbi, and orb and darklight as appropriate to their respective Underworlds. Get back to Chris!

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Charmed

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