Someone on the production staff must really want to fuck Liz Phair, for tonight's opening travelogue is the second season finale's in a row to feature a song from her latest album. This tune's not as aggravatingly catchy as "Extraordinary," but it seems to be just as disconnected from this evening's plot as "Extraordinary" was to last year's. Oh, wait a minute. I take that back. "Like an accident on the side of the road when you're driving past slow," Liz drones, "but there's nothing to see here." This might be the most relevant travelogue ovary ever, for this show is, indeed, a gory car wreck, and it really is pointless to slow down and stare at it. In any event, after the requisite pans across the city, the camera zips along behind a cable car for a bit before plunging into traffic on the Golden Gate Bridge, eventually speeding into a tunnel somewhere else. The camera emerges from the blackness to land on the Manor façade, and pans down to the left to reveal Phoebe, laden with overflowing shopping bags, as she emerges from her hideous, boxy automobile at curbside. As the Manor's driveway is currently clogged with Piper's Grand Cherokee and Raige's Volkswagen, Phoebe's been forced to park yet again in the street, in the process blocking the drive next door. A plus-size redhead in a pink sweatsuit immediately emerges from the former home of Dan Dan The Stalker Man to confront Phoebe regarding the latter's thoughtlessness. Phoebe claims she had nowhere else to park, as "Mrs. Noble's" bright orange construction Dumpster is hogging the entire side of the street. Phoebe. Please. The opposite side is completely devoid of cars, you hateful and apparently blind moron, and besides, if you're going to block someone's driveway, why not your own? Piper's stuck at Not!warts, after all, and so won't be using her Grand Cherokee anytime soon, and Raige can fucking orb anywhere she wants to fucking go. Gah. Whatever. This scene exists simply to set up what happens at the end of this episode, and while it wouldn't have killed the production staff to park a couple of extra cars on the opposite side to make it believable, it's so not worth my time to scream about the sloppy execution here. Long story short, Mrs. Noble's called the neighborhood patrol, and an officer arrives to ticket Phoebe's Mini Cooper. There's some shrieking and some shrilling and some, oh, skirling before Phoebe finally spins on her heel to flounce up to the Manor in a huff.
Episode Report CardDemian: A- | 361 USERS: B-
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