Not!warts. Piper enters the library with the Dolt and a stroller-riding Psycho to open the portal for Big Gay Chris's return to 2026. She is, needless to say, surprised and more than a little miffed to learn that the Dolt intends to accompany Chris. She's about to pop, don't you know, and someone needs to take care of the Psycho while she's in labor. Chris protests that he told the Dolt he didn't need to tag along. The Dolt insists it's too dangerous for Chris to make the journey on his own, reminding his son that the last time he went through a time portal, he almost became "dinosaur kibble." Uh, Dolt? Yeah, over here. Big Gay Chris didn't voluntarily step through that portal. You threw him into it. Cram it, fuckwit. Snidely enters, apologizing for his tardiness, which he attributes to his desire to make a few last-minute "tweaks" to the spell. "'Tweaks'?" Piper repeats suspiciously. "Let me see that," she orders, snatching the sheet of paper from Snidely's hand as Raige orbs into the room with the Feebs. Because of the Doormat situation, Phoebe's naturally a little too eager to say goodbye. Piper calls her on this, and reacts accordingly when Phoebe drops the warrant bomb. "This is bad," Chris frets. "If I leave and they can't find me, they're gonna come after you." No, Chris, they won't. See above. Phoebe assures her nephew that everything's okay. "We've been through worse," she asserts. "We'll get through this. We'll figure it out." Big Chris sighs in agitation. "And if you get back to the future and we're in jail," Phoebe jocularly adds, "you'll just have to bust us out!" Chris frowns until Phoebe approaches him with outstretched hands. Taking hold of him, she instructs, "You just go back to that beautiful, peaceful world that you helped create." Chris allows his mouth to twist into a slight smile before embracing her. "I'm really gonna miss you," Phoebe breathes over his shoulder. "I'll miss you, too," he assures her before breaking the hug. Next up is Raige, who tries to lighten the mood with a lighthearted, "Aw, here comes the huggin' part." The Fag and His Hag sort of slap each other on the back before pulling apart, allowing Piper her turn. Piper gazes fondly at Big Chris for a very long moment before drawing him close and murmuring, "Thank you for coming here." Chris closes his eyes and rests his head on her shoulder as she adds, "I love you." "I love you so much, Mom," he whispers. Aw. Sniff. Sniffle. Also, where'd Piper get that fabulous French manicure? Does Not!warts have a salon, too?
Episode Report CardDemian: A- | 361 USERS: B-
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