Charmed
It's A Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad World, Part I

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The Passion Of The Chris, Part I

Flash to Our Not!warts. Piper, apparently, has left the building, and Snidely now too casually ambles over to the Psycho's product-placed playpen. The Psycho instantly erects his protective shield. "That won't protect you for long," Snidely threatens, then -- I don't know, sinks his fingers into the shield, or something, and pink-orbs out of there.

Bizarro Barbas's Underground Arboreal Retreat. The Phoebes tussle. The Raiges hurl rocks at each other, spraying the crouching boys with debris. Bizarro Barbas reveals that Bizarro Snidely "was desperately hoping to eliminate" Bizarro Psycho. Meanwhile, the pairs of gals have stalemated, and as the Phoebes pant and growl at each other, the Raiges' cell phones ring. They answer in unison to find Bizarro Piper on the other end, and no, I don't know how one call is hitting two phones, but there are only five minutes left in this half, so I'm going to ignore bit of stupidity to transcribe Bizarro Piper's call: "Where the hell are you?" she grouses. "I'm in labor. Get your ass down here!" "I'm on my way," the Raiges respond as one. "We have to go get Piper," they tell the Phoebes. "And [the Psycho]," adds the Dolt, popping up from his hiding place with Big Gay Chris and Bizarro Barbas. The Phoebes squint at him.

Manor, Non-Bizarro Division, Nonexistent Attic Subsection. A truly horrific shot straight up Gildart Jackson's nose greets us as we arrive, for the camera's doing something quirky and off-kilter and vaguely ominous as Snidely shouts the following:

Wanton Powers: In this blade yield!
Penetrate that which would shield!

Of course, he ignores the proper punctuation to deliver that first line as, "Wanton powers in this blade yield," so I'm all, "Why would he want the blade's wanton powers to yield to the Psycho's shield? Ignorant jackass." In any event, the camera has swirled around beneath his nostrils during all of this until it cuts to a much broader shot of Snidely standing at the Book of Shadows, addressing an athame that hangs in mid-air. The athame glows, and props to the lighting designer -- Snidely's face glows the same color, and the glow's source is coming from the correct angle. It's the little things that make an episode good. Snidely plucks the blade from the air and slowly stalks over to the Psycho, who's plunked down in the middle of the room, surrounded by his pulsing little shield. Snidely kneels and plunges the dagger into the shimmering blue bubble, piercing the surface and sucking the entire thing into the weapon through some sort of sporking, electrical mojo. "I'm truly sorry," Snidely apologizes, not sounding terribly sorry at all, "but this is for the greater good." You asshole. The kid's twenty-one months old. He has no idea what the fuck you're talking about. Incidentally, the dead-eyed freak on the floor seems entirely unconcerned with what's going on. This kid is Satanic. Anyway, Snidely rises to skewer the Psycho with the dagger, but the Psycho, of course, has other plans. Using his own orbing telekinesis, he yanks the knife from Snidely's hands and plants it in Snidely's chest. Snidely howls and makes gurgling noises as he drags the thing out of his chest and hoists it once more above his head.

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Charmed

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