"This is getting to be a habit, isn't it?" a teary-eyed and yet still dazzling Sheila blubbers from the front porch when Phoebe opens the door. "Me showing up a wreck?" The next thing we know, Phoebe's escorted The Dazzling Sheila into the main parlor to listen to the latter's latest tale of woe. Seems The Dazzling Sheila's been fighting with Detective Doormat for the first time in their many years together, and Sheila can't figure out what's wrong with him. The latest spat was triggered when The Dazzling Sheila dropped by Trudeau Memorial, formerly Andy's House Of Beef, formerly The Loneliest Precinct House In The World, and noticed an arrest warrant for Big Gay Chris on the Doormat's desk. Innocently enough, she wondered how the Doormat would quash it. "That's when he just lost it," The Dazzling Sheila explains. "He told me to stay out of it and to stay away from you girls from now on." She wonders if something happened that she should know about. Phoebe, who's wearing a rather fetching and modest pink top, gingerly explains that something did indeed happen a couple of weeks ago, but does not get into the details. Some have wondered why The Dazzling Sheila would remember "showing up a wreck" in that episode if she has no apparent memory of the Doormat's arrest and subsequent near-execution. We don't get an official answer, of course, because this show is ass, but just tell yourself that the Cleaners implanted the memory of some different, unrelated-yet-equally-traumatic event in Sheila's mind when they reset the clock. At least, that's what I've done, and it seems to be working for me so far. In any event, Phoebe suggests The Dazzling Sheila give her doormat of a husband a little time to get over it all. "But that doesn't help you," Sheila protests, "and it doesn't help Chris." Phoebe bites her lower lip and perhaps a bit guiltily averts her gaze as Sheila continues, "You girls are like family to us, and you don't turn your back on family." At this, Phoebe lifts her eyes to meet Sheila's and smiles.
Over at the Not!warts library, Big Gay Chris has just finished chalking a large triquatra on the wall. "I wonder how different the future's gonna be," he muses as he takes a few steps back to examine his work. "How different my life is gonna be," he continues as the camera swings around to reveal the Dolt lurking in the background with a vial of bright blue potion in his hand. "Remember," he instructs Big Chris, "if anything seems different, we have another vial of this to get back right away." Big Chris, looking impossibly pretty in the foreground of the shot, swings his head around to smile at his father before returning his attention to the triquatra with, "You worry too much, you know that? I'll be fine." The Dolt ambles over to claim that worrying's a father's job, after all, before urging Big Gay Chris to "take it easy on [the Psycho]" and not "hold a grudge" once Chris returns to the future. "He's gonna be different," the Dolt reminds Chris, as I roll my eyes and mutter, "Fat chance." "Good," the Dolt continues. Yes, Dolt. If by "good," you mean "a monomaniacal dictator hell-bent on destroying the world as we know it." "He won't remember he wasn't, so if you really want to change the future, you've got to start with a clean slate." Chris whatevers that he gets it, but you can tell he's thrilled the Dolt's taking such an interest in him after so many years of neglect. Big Chris then swings the topic of conversation over to the Dolt's possible reconciliation with Piper. The Dolt's more than a bit noncommittal, but from the sheepish and wistful grin he's sporting, you can tell he's also more than a bit open to the idea. Finally, they get back to the matter at hand. The Dolt suggests a test run of the potion and the portal before the Glamorous Ladies arrive to bid Chris farewell. Chris is up for that, so he joins his father in the center of the room. The Dolt swings back his arm and hurls the potion vial at the triquatra on the wall. The shot shifts into slow motion as the bottle flies end over end through the air. Suddenly, it hits an invisible barrier about a foot from the wall and shatters, emitting a small puff of smoke as it does so. From the boys' perspective, however, the vial's hit the wall, yet failed to open a portal. They sigh and slouch in disappointment for a bit before the Dolt vows to get Chris home, no matter what it takes. They retreat to the table at the far side of the room to strategize as the camera focuses on the shattered glass and spilt potion. Several drops of blood appear from nowhere to spatter the floor, forming a trail leading out of the room.