Charmed
I've Got You Under My Skin

Episode Report Card
Demian: B+ | 1 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Piper Halliwell graduates! Piper Halliwell graduates!

Dude! CTV's program slug for Charmed is three hostile black cats hissing around the channel's tri-colored logo. Canada rules.

Manor. Up in the attic, a downcast Piper quietly leafs through the Book of Shadows, searching for a comfort I doubt she'll find in the Book's pages. Phoebe enters, and what follows is a scene that, while well-played by both women, has lost most of what resonance I believe it originally had as a result of the eighty or so episodes that followed. Basically, Piper's utterly distraught by the recent changes in their lives, and thinks she's an evil being. "I just want to be normal again," she whispers ruefully. "As messed up as that was." Phoebe pretty much tells Piper she wouldn't have received her "gift" if she hadn't been meant to use it to protect the innocent, which of course means Piper can't be a wicked creature. See what I mean about that original resonance thing? How many times have we heard this same damn conversation in the last four years? Anyway, having delivered her little pep talk, Phoebe rises to head over to Pecker's studio. "I'm having my picture taken," she giggles, then vogues on out of the attic as Piper finally allows herself a smile.

Cut to an exterior of a restaurant, whose name is -- I'm guessing here -- CASTAGNOLA'S. I think that's right. I mean, the sign on the side of the building is only FIFTEEN GODDAMN FEET HIGH. Inside, Prue and Andy are having an awkward conversation over lunch. They snicker over the shared memory of that thing he did with his...you know, followed by the shared memory of that thing she did with her...yeah, and then they both collapse in a sodden heap of remorse and regrets. Prue claims her life has become unusually complicated, and she doesn't want to "get involved in innything right now." Andy says Exactly The Wrong Thing when he notes, "Prue, we had sex. It doesn't mean we have to elope." She glares at him all, "No, you dii-iin't!" He bangs his head against the table, screaming, "Asshole! I am SUCH an ASSHOLE!" Not really, but they do stare at each other until Andy's bit of conversational flatulence has dissipated. Then they sort of chuckle goofily at each other and more or less agree to start things over again, and to take it slowly this time. The folks at Buckland's choose this moment to buzz Prue on her cell phone to confirm her second interview. Prue cuts the meal short and leaves.

Damn. Two nice little scenes in a row? I'm...so...confused.

Forbidding Episcopal Edifice. Piper stares down the church's front doors from her car, then repeats "I have nothing to be afraid of" to herself a thousand times before emerging from the Cherokee and striding across the street. She climbs the steps. She glances at the sky. She reaches for the latch. She swings the door open on its rusty hinges. She glances at the sky. She hops into the vestibule. She hops back out onto the steps. Nothing happens. She raises her arms in triumph and stomps out a gleeful end-zone dance while squealing and giggling to herself. Hee! Christ, how did this show get so sucky in later seasons? Piper's reverie is cut short when the addled elderly lady from the soup kitchen line wanders into view. Piper spots the Limelight hand-stamp and connects the dots to the missing Big Blonde. "Brittany?" she bleats. "You know me?" the crone stutters. "Is that my name?" Piper gapes.

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Charmed

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