I've Got You Under My Skin

Episode Report Card
Demian: B+ | 1 USERS: B-
Piper Halliwell graduates! Piper Halliwell graduates!

Manor. Night. Get this -- the production staff evidently couldn't be bothered to photograph actual nighttime glamour shots of the Manor at this point in the series, so they've taken a daytime shot and blacked out the sky. You think I'm kidding? Just wait. Once these episodes start airing on TNT this fall, you'll know that I'd never lie to you. Even more offensive? Is what follows. Up in the attic, Prue and Piper scramble over to the Book. Piper believes she's seen something about Elder Brittany's condition, and quickly flips to the entry for Javna. "'Javna feeds one week out of every year,'" she reads, "'stealing the life force from the young.'" Prue continues, "'By invoking the black magic power of the Evil Eye, [he can] gain eternal youth.'" Prue frets that there must be some sort of vanquish. Piper confirms this, flipping over to the entry for The Hand Of Fatima. "The Prophet Mohammed invoked it centuries ago to banish Javna back to wherever the hell he came from," Piper explains. The WHO? And I was worried because I was mocking that asinine seventy-two-virgins thing. Many have wondered why Connie Burge vanished from the scene after the first season. My guess? She pulled a Rushdie to escape the fatwa called down upon her head by some cranky, senile, blind, fundamentalist ass of a Saudi cleric.

Prue snits that a vanquish won't do them much good if they don't know who Javna is and where to find him. What's that? Could it be? Yes! It's The Cleansing Burst Of Synchronicity! Down in the kitchen, Elder Brittany totters over to the fridge, where she finds the napkin with Pecker's address. She moans and drops to the floor. Fortuitously, Brittany drops to the floor with enough force so that Prue and Piper can hear it two flights up in the attic. They race downstairs to find her slumped against the fridge. Piper retrieves the cocktail napkin from Brittany's hand and mentions that Pecker's address appears on the back. The actress playing Elder Brittany makes me giggle when, upon hearing Pecker's name, she opens her eyes scarily wide and grunts, "JAV-NAH!" Prue and Piper quickly realize Phoebe is in the clutches of THE JAV-NAH, and they -- yes -- gape.

The Loneliest Precinct House In The World, and it took me longer to type out the location than it did for this scene to unreel. Andy and Darryl, scanning the bank's security tapes, spot Pecker leaving [the anthr=ax] with the first missing woman. They slam into action mode and race for their car.

Pecker's Waterfront Warehouse Of Evil. Phoebe's strapped to the table; she screams when THE JAV-NAH flashes his cheap Korean eyes at her. Outside, Prue and Piper arrive in Prue's convertible, and beat a path over to the purloined [ashcr=oft] van. Piper worries that they won't be able to complete the vanquish if Phoebe's already had her youth sucked, and then the two barge into THE JAV-NAH's lair. Prue squints, TKing THE JAV-NAH into a wall. Piper skitters over to release Phoebe as THE JAV-NAH redirects his cheap Korean eyes at Prue. The pull of the cheap Korean eyes lifts Prue a couple of inches off the floor, and she floats across the room. What? I don't know. I'm calling it like I see it here. Prue grabs a hand mirror and holds it in front of her face, reflecting the cheap Korean eyes back at THE JAV-NAH, who howls and falls to the ground. Piper and Phoebe join Prue to recite the following spell twice:

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