Previously on CANCELLED!, it wassss raining outsssside the night The Retard'ssss ssssisssster wassss...you know what? Fuck the previouslys. There are only two episodes left. Who the hell cares what happened last week?
Currently on CANCELLED!, we pick up shortly where we left off at the end of the last episode, following the intrepid Manor Morons as they scurry amongst the smoky fumaroles of Jondar's former lair down in the Underworld. Piper's more or less in the lead, with Phoebe following close behind. Spastic Raige, the twitchy bastard of the trio, lurches around in the rear, flailing through the grimy air with the Book of Shadows. "I think we're going in circles," Phoebe announces, "because this [set] looks very familiar." "Of course it does," Piper replies. "It's the Underworld -- it all looks the same. I mean, how many looks can they come up with [on a per-episode budget that's a mere two-thirds of last season's, not to mention the fact that there are only two episodes left, so why bother, because CANCELLED!]?" Piper, incidentally, has one fist shoved into the front pocket of her pants with her right hand stretched across her torso to clasp her left forearm, the better to disguise the fact that Holly Marie Combs is, by now, thirty-seven months pregnant. The three chatter about their unfortunate predicament until a Flaming Ball Of Death bursts against the wall of a far corridor. The ladies dive for cover behind some papier-mâché stalagmites and proceed to run through their options, of which there appear to be few. Leprechauns? Raige is done with the annoying little fuckers, and besides, as Piper needlessly reminds everyone present, Maggot Neck and Ssssecretly Evil Chrissssty have convinced the entire Stoopid Magikal Kommunity that the Charmed Ones are the real threat. Just then, a random FBOD comes flying out of nowhere to smash into one of the papier-mâché stalagmites, showering the gals with debris. "We gotta get out of here," Phoebe sighs. As the Ps rise to exit the frame, the screen flares white to dump us in...
...Not!warts? I guess, but for some asinine reason, Fugly Rufus is entering The Inky Chamber Of Zombie Malefaction from some bizarre expanse of bright whiteness, rather than from the hallway. Whatever! CANCELLED! The door creaks shut behind him of its own accord as he ingratiatingly places a hand on his chest and nods his head in the direction of the glowing white disk, from which The Zombie Triad soon materializes. Fugly Rufus brings Asmodeus, Candor, and Fat Guy With A Stupid Earring up to date on recent events. The Zombie Triad remains unimpressed with Fugly Rufus's achievements, however, for the Charmed Ones still bitch and yap and twitch and annoy. Fugly Rufus smirks something reassuring before vanishing into the opening credits.
And look at that! Monkey Boy's back. Brad Kern is, I'm sure, sorry to so ruin the surprise of Brian Krause's reappearance in this episode for everyone. Not. Also, the trailing end of the credits has reverted to what appeared during the first half of the season, so Kit's back in there, too, despite his later gender- and species-reassignment surgeries.