Little Monsters

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Little Monsters

H of Not! Estates. Piper notes with growing alarm that nothing's stopping the bleeding. She offers to escort him back to the Manor for some of the Whitelighter tingly touch, but The H of Not! demands they remain where they are, as the Manticores are certain to look for him and his son over at Piper's. The H of Not! also insists that he can't revert to his human form unless, of course, he dies first. "How are you going to raise him?" she asks softly. The H of Not! confesses that he never intended to raise the kid on his own. After he'd taken care of the Manticore threat, he intended to pass Tongue Boy on to someone he trusted. The H of Not! lumbers to his feet to escape the conversation, but Piper stops him with a gentle hand on his forearm. "You can't run forever," she notes. "Not for long. Not with that," she adds, indicating his wound with a lift of her brows. "And who's gonna save [Tongue Boy] when you're dead?" "You have a way with words, you know that?" he concedes with something approaching a rueful grin. "I ad-lib a lot," she smiles fondly. They chuckle just as Raige orbs in with Phoebe. Phoebe and Raige hurl vials at The H of Not!, but Piper intercepts them in mid-air with her Hands, and the things explode harmlessly. "What are you doing?" Raige squeals as three Manticores squiggle into the room. Two of the monsters manhandle H of Not! into the adjacent bedroom as the remaining one super-speeds Piper over to her sisters. Raige orbs out as the sounds of a brutal ass-kicking fill the house. We cut over to the bedroom to find the Manticores working H of Not! over with their "venomous claws" as Tongue Boy wails in infantile despair.

Manor. Raige orbs in with Piper and Phoebe by the front door, and the camera races down the hallway to Piper's frantic face as she orders Raige to orb them back immediately. Piper dissolves, and…

…the gals reappear at H of Not! Estates to discover a dying hunchback and no Tongue Boy. Piper breathes, "Oh, no," and rushes over to kneel at his side. H of Not!, his misshapen head covered in bloody gashes, struggles to breathe for a bit before passing out. A golden glow erupts from his body, and he morphs down into Seth Peterson, whose cheekbones could quite honestly make lepers whole again. Wow. He's even prettier than Big Gay Chris. Raige and Phoebe glance at each other, clueless, as Piper frets her way into the final commercial break.

If it's horribly wrong to laugh and laugh and laugh as that idiot toddler prepares to drown herself in the backyard pool while her babysitter's getting baked, I never want to be right. Just thought I'd share.

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