Little Monsters

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Little Monsters

Manor. Raige arrives in the parlor with Piper, Phoebe, and Seth, and Piper immediately summons the Dolt for some of his extra-special tingly touch. The Dolt orbs in with Big Gay Chris at his side, and immediately hovers over the dying hunk on the couch. Seth's face glows as the gals get the boys up to speed on recent developments. Raige heads to the attic to fill more vanquishing vials as Big Chris expresses outrage that they'd even consider risking their lives again to save a demonic infant. "That's my son," Seth corrects him, sitting up on the sofa, delighted to find himself human again. "Aren't you glad you didn't kill me now?" Piper grins. Seth looks chagrined as the Dolt babbles, "Not funny! I don't think that's funny!" "Agreed!" Big Chris chimes in, leading Phoebe to snort, "What, are you two, like, on the same team now?" No, nimrod. The Dolt will never be on Chris's team, because Chris's team is my team, and if the Dolt even considers switching sides, I'll kill him with my bare hands. "We're gonna get your baby back," she assures Seth. "I promise." "Do we not have a say in this?" Big Chris pouts. "No, we don't," the Dolt allows. "One thing you gotta learn about being their Whitelighter is that once they make up their mind, that's it." "Besides," the Dolt adds, grinning amiably at Seth, "I'm a father first." Big Gay Chris smiles to himself as if he's deeply happy the Dolt's finally uttered those words in his presence. Hmmm. "We're going to have to separate the baby before the attack," Phoebe warns Seth, and I'll just assume she meant they'll have to separate the baby from the monsters, not rip the poor little sprog limb from limb. "Why?" Seth wonders. Piper reminds him that the potion vanquishes Manticores. As his son's a half-breed, if any of it splashes on him, he's on his merrily blazing way down to Hell with the rest of them. Sweet Seth gets this "oh, shit" look on his face.

Lair of the Manticores. The Manticores sleep. Tongue Boy's awake and rather bouncy, though, which is good news for the gals, who orb into the corner of the cave again. Raige wonders if she should just summon the kid with her orbing telekinesis. Piper doesn't think that's a good idea, as he'd likely just squiggle back, thereby creating even more problems than they already have. The Ps pass around vials before Piper starts in with her peek-a-boo routine from the top of the hour. The other Manticores slowly wake up and flick their tongues in the air -- nice touch, by the way -- as Tongue Boy plays right along with Piper and squiggles out. The ladies immediately hurl their vials, and soon enough, the half dozen or so monsters are gone. Tongue Boy squiggles back in and makes happy gurgling noises. The Glamorous Ladies hustle over to the kid, and Piper hoists him into the air to offer some positive reinforcement. "So much for nature over nurture," Raige smirks. The gals grin goofily as Piper tickles the kid's stomach, making him squirm around with delight. Aw.

A very pretty closing travelogue takes up back to the Manor, where the grim Doltine Psycho blankly observes his fief from the depths of his playpen. Sweet Seth, meanwhile, beams at Tongue Boy, who's teething on another of The Doltine Psycho's chew toys. Piper eases a stroller packed with baby clothes onto the sun porch, and offers it all to Sweet Seth. "You sure you don't mind?" he asks. "Not at all," she assures him. "[The Doltine Psycho's] outgrown them all, and I don't see myself having any more kids anytime soon, so…" Yeah, replace "anytime soon" with "until May sweeps at the earliest," and you'll be right on target, honey. Sweet Seth thanks her for everything she's done while wishing he could return the favor. Raige ambles in from the dining room to perk, "Well, you could tell us your name -- unless you prefer being called 'The Beast.'" Seth grins and notes that his name's Derek before realizing he hasn't yet had a chance to name Tongue Boy, what with all the fighting and everything. Tongue Boy chooses this moment to squiggle from The Doltine Psycho's playpen into his new stroller. The Ps coo at this precocious display as the telephone rings. Raige exits to answer, allowing Piper a final moment with Sweet Seth. Or Darling Derek. Whatever. He's cute, is all I'm saying. She extends an offer to bind Tongue Boy's powers should Sweet Seth ever feel the need. Sweet Seth's response is immediate: "No! I mean, thanks, but it's not necessary. He's a good boy," Sweet Seth vows, smiling down at his son. "It's just up to me to make sure he stays that way." "Well," Piper allows, "he's in good hands." They share a silent moment, during which I'm convinced Sweet Seth's going to ask her out on a date, and he totally should, because he's totally gorgeous, and they'd make a terrific couple, but no. He thanks her again and leaves just as Raige groans herself back in from the kitchen. She forgot to reverse Darryl's spell.

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