Shrek? Not in a million years, buddy.
Back on the sun porch, the Dolt strokes L.B. Prue’s neck as Piper worries herself into a panic in the background. She’s determined that they’re screwed. If Belthazor kills the FeebShee in self-defense, there goes the Power of Three. If the FeebShee kills Belthazor, she’s stuck with a dog and a demon for sisters. The Dolt tells her not to fret. “We found Prue, we’ll find Phoebe.” L.B. Prue trots to the broken door and unleashes a series of barks. Piper and the Dolt order her to be quiet. L.B. Prue responds by yanking on the Dolt’s pantleg with her teeth. She then trots to the ruined door and bounds out. Piper supposes that L.B. Prue hears the FeebShee. She trundles out after the dog with her husband.
Mausoleum’s mausoleum. Belthazor and the FeebShee rip into each other the way only jilted exes can. She hurls him into a bier. He kicks her across the room. She tosses him into a wall, then sits on his chest and pounds his face with both fists. In some bizarre way, this almost seems like a demonic version of foreplay. I don’t think that’s how they intended this to come across. Belthazor flips her back over the bier, then straddles her torso, trying to pin her down. She howls and shrieks up at him. He claws at his ears, screaming, then throttles her into silence. “Don’t make me kill you,” he pleads. Aw. Demon with a heart of gold. So sweet. The FeebShee doesn’t share my opinion. With a full-throated yowl, she heaves him into a back flip. He crouches in a corner and morphs back down into Cole. “Dammit, Phoebe,” he confesses. “I love you.” She’s not having it, and lets Cole know this through another agonized keen. There’s a brief shot of L.B. Prue, Piper, and the Dolt racing through The Hardest-Working Cemetery In Show Business. Cut to the FeebShee, who morphs back into Phoebe. Banshee or Phoebe, she’s not exactly buying the profession of love from her ex-boyfriend. She fixes him with a hardened, embittered glare. Outside on the lawn, Literal Bitch Prue flares up into Figurative Bitch Prue. She trots along for a bit, clutching her hip, then stops. Piper’s delighted Prue’s back to her old figurative-bitch self. Prue wonders why she’s human again. The Dolt guesses that Phoebe’s no longer a banshee. Yes, but is she alive?