Down on the second floor, the Dolt catches up with Piper to apologize for his near-constant presence in the Manor, despite her explicit request at the end of the premiere for him to stay the hell away. Piper rolls her shoulders around and admits that she can't think of a better babysitter for Tiny Gay Chris than his father, and allows that she's pretty much moved past whatever rage she was feeling over the Dolt's abandonment of his familial responsibilities. Then we veer into bizarro territory, where it becomes clear that the Dolt wants a reconciliation, and it becomes even clearer that Piper wants an official divorce. Well, as official as it can be when they weren't legally married in the first place. The Dolt's disappointment is palpable. Just as things threaten to get incredibly awkward, the phone rings below, and Phoebe calls up with news that The Non-Amazing Eel Man's on the line. "Guess you better get that," mumbles the downcast Dolt. "Yeah," Piper agrees with a tight smile. She edges away into her boudoir, and, after clearly giving the decision some thought, shuts the door firmly behind her. The Dolt gets misty-eyed and bows his head in despair as the camera slowly tracks back into the shadows of the hall. Cram it, tool.
Next week, Phoebe gets her very own talk show. In other news, the earth tilts sideways on its axis and rolls right into the sun. See you there!