Meanwhile, back in San Francisco, Chronic and The Cooter arrive at a low-key nightclub, where the online dating company Chronic founded holds weekly get-togethers for its members. The Cooter is shocked and appalled to learn the couples currently canoodling on the various banquettes met through the Internet. Chronic speechifies about taking risks, then orders The Cooter "to get started on [its] rewrite." The Cooter is smitten, and grooms itself at the bar. Scene.

Manor. Up in the attic, Piper dumps a pair of actual snake eyes into a bubbling potion, then dips her scrying crystal into the mix. She hopes the actual snake eyes will point them in Big Bad Greg's direction. They do, but not before the audience endures a bickering argument between Jimmy and The Cooter about taking risks. Consider yourself fortunate -- nay, lucky -- to have missed it. And...scene.

Lair Of The Moltisanti. The gals plus Jimmy orb onto a stone platform and glance about nervously. Big Bad Greg strides on over with a crock of trouser nuggets, which he unleashes upon the Glamorous Ladies after chanting the curse, "[Incorrectly Captioned] ort!" I have no idea what he said, but I'd like to take this opportunity to curse Brad Kern with the following: Imeacht gan teacht ort, titim gan éirí ort, go n-ithe an cat thú, is go n-ithe an diabhal an cat. Fucker.

A bolt of lightning immediately strikes the gals, who tumble to the floor in agony. That was kind of funny, actually. Jimmy The Runt summons a rainbow to escape, but Big Bad Greg toasts Jimmy's wee ass before he can bow on out of there. Greg steps into the rainbow, leaving the three singed Ps to gape their collective way into the commercial break.

Attic. Aftermath. Wait a minute! What the hell is outside the attic window? Is that the goddamned Transamerica Pyramid? It is! Oh, those fucking evil bastards. They're just doing this to piss me off. Whatever! I will not pop an aneurysm because of Charmed, so screw you, shitheads! Screw all of you! The string of bad luck precipitated by the crock of cursed trouser nuggets continues to afflict the Glamorous Ladies. Raige nearly breaks her leg face-planting into the carpet, Piper learns that the club had to shutter for the evening because of a power failure, the attic's wiring goes on the fritz, and one of the antique chandeliers comes crashing unexpectedly to the floor. The Dolt orbs Piper's Precious Log up to Whitelighterland until the gals reverse their luck.