Lucky Charmed

Episode Report Card
Demian: F | Grade It Now!
This Show Blows, And I Want To Die

To Find Good Luck:
My finances have run amok,
Creditors I soon must duck.
I cast this spell to find good luck
And hope my life will cease to suck!

Raige dissolves into a glowing cloud of swirling green orbs as the Dolt gapes. Now alone, The Dolt instructs The Percolated Infant to keep his mouth shut regarding Auntie Raige's wacky hijinks. Cram it, Dolt.

Munchkinland. The glowy green cloud materializes at the center of the clearing and coagulates into Raige form. The Italian leprechaun jauntily greets her as the Whimsical Flute makes its triumphant return to the soundtrack, and there goes my brain again. Sorry. Hang on a minute. Let's just shut off the sound, and...there we go. Introductions are made, and Italian Seamus starts to give Raige the skinny on the whole Big Bad Greg situation. Unfortunately, Big Bad Greg squiggles in at that very moment to pimp-slap Raige across the clearing with some demonic mojo. Greg next hoists Italian Seamus into the air by his throat, but before Greg can barbecue the runt, Raige calls for Jimmy with her orbing telekinesis. Jimmy The Runt dissolves into a cloud of orbs that reconfigures itself atop Raige's bosom. "Ever date a little person?" Jimmy leers. I'm not touching that one, and you can't make me. Ew! Big Bad Greg spins around and rants as Raige states, "We need to get out of here." "Allow me," Jimmy offers gallantly. He grabs his magical shillelagh and calls, "Go n-éirí an bóthar laet!" Jimmy and Raige vanish in the resulting rainbow as Big Bad Greg screams in frustration.

The rainbow sets Raige and Jimmy down in front of his massive pot of "gold." "Is that..." Raige stammers. "All mine," Jimmy finishes proudly. Were this a Warner Brothers' cartoon, dollar signs would ka-ching! into Raige's eyes at this juncture. As it is, she simply smiles as Jimmy The Runt puffs his chest out into the commercial break.

You know, with the sound off, this episode isn't half bad.

Manor parlor. Forgive me while I keep the sound off. I think it's for the best. We get a quick lecture on Leprechaun 101, courtesy of Raige and Jimmy The Runt. Leprechauns travel the world on rainbows, "pollinating" said world with luck via the golden nuggets. "Sometimes the seeds don't stick," Raige explains, "but other times they grow into full-blown hot streaks." Also, depending upon the donor leprechaun's intentions, the nuggets can bring either good or bad luck to the recipient. Piper snorts at this, and argues that leprechauns should therefore be considered evil entities, what with the bad luck they distribute and all. The Dolt corrects her, noting that both brands of luck are necessary to maintain the magical equilibrium. Jimmy The Runt gleefully agrees with this assessment, and adds, "Finally! A man with a solid head on his shoulders!" See? Even Jimmy knows the Dolt's a blockhead.

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