On cue, the Orb Sound kicks in, and Leo "Her Heavenly Dream, My Frat-Boy Nightmare" Wyatt appears on the landing above the ladies. Phoebe sings out an exultant "Leo!" only to modify that to a whispered greeting when he tells her to pipe down. Leo's come with some bad news: The Powers That Be want an answer in twenty-four hours regarding Piper and Leo's illicit love affair. To remind everyone one more time: either Piper and Leo break up, or Leo gets reassigned and the Halliwells never see him again. Leo again suggests they marry immediately, and Piper again reveals she's worried about getting caught, which would precipitate the "unspeakable wrath" of The Powers That Be, "the likes of which [the sisters] can't even imagine." Leo tells the three Ps that, now that there's an official deadline, TPTB will be listening very closely to all Halliwell/White Lighter gabfests over the next day. Mention of the "W word" is strictly verboten. Prue reads my thoughts again and wonders aloud how they can proceed with the wedding if TPTB are watching them like hawks. She then turns to Phoebe to ask if a solution can be found in the Book of Shadows. As I wait in vain for TPTB to smite the four of them immediately for holding this discussion in the first place, Phoebe notes she found nothing on the topic, and adds that she's still hung up on the "unspeakable wrath" thing. "Is that just the bride and groom," she deadpans, "or does it also include bridesmaids?" Snicker.
Prue shoots her a weary "Phoebe," and in a series of seeming non-sequiturs, Phoebe can't figure out why the relationship is forbidden, Prue notes that "rules are meant to be broken," Phoebe counters with, "Bodies aren't," and Piper interjects, "Neither are hearts." That wasn't a skillet or an anvil that just hit me, people. That was the entire foundry town of Ambridge, Pennsylvania, dropped directly onto my fragile little head. Vodka clearly will not be enough to help me through this episode, so I pull the big bottle of Jägermeister out of the liquor cabinet at Chez Demian.