Prue gets in a final Eye Candy ogle as she and Piper turn to join Phoebe, who observes Eye Candy has "that whole tortured innocent thing going on." Piper notes he doesn't want their help, Prue reminds them neither he nor they have much choice in the matter, and then instructs Piper to ready herself to freeze him should he decide to bolt. She turns to ad-lib her way through a plan for Eye Candy, but he apparently just grabbed some clothes and ran. Priority discussion, as Piper attempts to blow off the innocent, and Prue and Phoebe note that the three can take care of both the wedding and the Eye Candy. To keep TPTB off the scent, Piper mumbles upon the shotworthy "rutabaga" as the code word of choice for the wedding, and then incorrectly suggests the sisters use the "divide and conquer" approach to solve both of the issues at hand. Prue catches Kit batting about a discarded owl feather, and tells the other two to research Piper's root vegetable while she "scribes" or whatever with the feather and the BoS. Phoebe tries to get out of turnip duty to help Prue with the innocent instead, but Prue shuts her down, noting that Piper needs Phoebe's help just as much as Eye Candy does, "maybe more." Phoebe passively/aggressively snits that she's aware they have to help the innocent, as this is part of the rules they agreed to follow. She does not believe, however, they should be helping Piper break said rules. Prue pulls an eyeroll out of her bag of reactions for that one, and turns to head for the attic as Phoebe glides past to join Piper.
Cut to a brightly-lit Barnes & Noble where Phoebe and Piper, arms laden with books, wait on line for the checkout. Phoebe, wearing what appears to be the red leather jacket from Michael Jackson's "Beat It" days in the early eighties, states to no one's surprise, "I don't get it." And you never will, Phoebe. You never will. "If our ancient compilation of spells, witchcrafts [sic], and rituals can't help us, what makes you think Martha Stewart can?" Piper huffs that she doesn't get Phoebe's sudden change of heart on the turnip issue as Cole "Tall, Dark, and Wicked" Turner walks up to the pair with "Ding, ding! Back to your corners." Saucer of milk, Cole? Hormone-laden awkwardness mixed with toothy grins as Cole greets Phoebe, and Phoebe reintroduces Piper to Cole. Phoebe tells Cole they "have to stop meeting like this," and Cole responds, "You better be careful. A guy might think he's being followed." Piper tells them to can it, and Phoebe glares. Shut up, Phoebe.