Magic Hour

Episode Report Card
Demian: D | Grade It Now!
Magic Hour

Manor, front hall. As the four women enter, Prue says, "I swear I've seen this in a movie somewhere." I somehow resist the urge to fling my laptop at the TV, and settle on plunging a Phillips head screwdriver into my ear instead. Prue leads FlaxGal to the kitchen for some grub, and Phoebe pauses on her way to do some BoS research to smooth things out with Piper. Bottom line: Phoebe apologizes for the way she feels about the situation, but she still believes Piper is wrong to go ahead with the Handfasting ritual, in spite of the love between her and Leo, because of the danger in which it might place all of them. Piper caves, admitting she knows in her heart it's wrong as well, and says she will not marry Leo unless both of her sisters agree to it.

Kitchen. B-plot backstory that serves to reinforce dull A-plot non-story. Piper, Prue, and FlaxGal ("Brooke") bond over the mess magic has made of their love lives. Cut! Brilliant! Not! What happens in the next reel? Don't be surprised if I'm dragged off screaming to the snake pit if this keeps up.

Office of Demonic Day Trading. UFH attempts to pull one over on Smug Blond by presenting him with a decoy dead owl. Smug Blond is too crafty to be fooled by such a flimsy attempt, knowing that he'd have been presented with a dead human had UFH been successful. UFH pleads that Eye Candy and FlaxGal were aided by witches. Smug Blond is not having it and vanquishes UFH into a ball of fiery pain, reducing UFH to pile of ash on the carpet. I tire of typing "Smug Blond," and decide to call him Shermy. Shermy gets on the intercom, cooing, "Clean up, aisle two." Episode shot count: aw, hell. Who's keeping track at this point? Shermy summons another day trader, this one with facial hair even more unfortunate than the last. Shermy tells UFH II he's been promoted. UFH II notes the ashes of his predecessor, and manages a nervous smile. I vomit.

Shermy waves a hand over the screen on his open laptop, and the Halliwell manor appears. We enter the image, then cut to the backyard, where Brooke regales the ladies with her tale of woe. Blah blah took a job with Shermy blah blah rebuffed sexual advances blah blah cursecakes. The relevant plot point is that the curse against the two will be lifted only in one of two circumstances. Either she gives in to Shermy's desires, or they must wait for "a night within a day." She feels she's to blame, but Prue dismisses that with this week's message: "You said yes to a job, not to a man." All together now: sexual harassment is a Bad Thing, and is never the fault of the victim. Brooke and the owl share a tender moment.

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