A homeless guy pushes a cart full of his worldly possessions in front of a subway station. Note to the Charmed staff: while we do have lots of homeless people in San Francisco, we do not have subway stations. It's either the underground MUNI or the freaking BART, but neither of them is called the SUBWAY! Have any of these writers even BEEN to the Bay Area? Two nervous-looking tourists huddle under an umbrella and gaze fearfully around at the depravity around them. Look! That guy is standing there doing absolutely nothing but he's dressed all in black! Oh, and that other guy is unloading stuff from the back of a car and he's also all in black! Clearly, the Retard's parents aren't used to people wearing black. Oh, holy crap, somebody better call Keith Mars because I think we've discovered where Big Dick is hiding out -- in the folds of Ma Retard's neck! No one could ever find him in there. Eventually, the Retarded Bimbo pulls up in Phoebe's Mini and greets her parents with a string of babble and apologies for being late. Ma Retard is sweet and bubbly about the "cute car," while Pa "Big Dick" Retard is crabby and sarcastic about just about everything. I think I like him. While Sgt. Pepper watches, the Retard stows her parents in the car and asks, "Are you guys ready to see my school?" "That's why we're here," Pa Retard crabs as he makes a big show of being cramped in the car, which is total bullshit, by the way, because if my six-foot-one husband was able to be totally comfortable in the passenger seat of a Mini, then clearly this bumpkin can be as well. The Retard rolls her eyes at her father and drives off.
As Piper vacuums the foyer to prepare for the guests Phoebe invited over, Phoebe makes a big show of trying to talk on the phone about her column. There's a weird cut to Tiny Gay Chris squeaking a toy, which I don't totally understand because even if we were supposed to believe that Phoebe is dealing with a cacophony of noises, that tiny gay squeak would not really be heard above the vacuum.