Pa Retard decides it's time for them to go, "It was kind of you to invite us, thank you for dinner." Phoebe and Piper make blustery attempts to keep them there. Piper also swats at a fly, which I initially thought was quite bizarre, but there actually is a purpose for it. A stupid purpose, but a purpose all the same. Pa Retard declines the offer of dessert and because the night hasn't been awkward enough, the Retard jumps up and blurts, "I need to ask you guys about [the Milk Carton] right now." Ma Retard totally overdoes the pearl-clutching as she gasps, jumps back, and grabs at the back of a chair for support. Get a grip, honey. Pa Retard rebukes his stupid daughter by saying it's not something they discuss in front of strangers. Because now is the time to worry about appropriateness in front of their hosts. Phoebe and Retard say that the Manor Morons aren't strangers, they are friends, and Retard accuses her father of never wanting to discuss the Milk Carton. Ma Retard gets all runny-nosed and sob-eyed, and Retard hurls more accusations about how her parents never really did anything about finding the Milk Carton after she was abducted. The fly keeps buzzing, and Piper keeps trying to smooth things over. Pa and Retard hurl more invectives at each other until Retard finally shouts, "You guys are cold-hearted assassins!" Okay...what? Why on earth would she pick the word "assassins" for her parents? Cold-hearted robots/androids/freaks, I could see. Even cold-hearted snakes, if she wanted to go the Abdul route, but -- "assassins"? Why would that even be a word she associates with her parents? I don't get it, I don't get it, I DON'T GET IT!
Episode Report Card863 USERS: C
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