Whatever. Ma and Pa Retard morph into assassin attire, with Ma trading her doily-collared print dress for a black sheath with a plunging neckline, and Pa eschewing his beige ensemble for a black jacket and white shirt. Ma Retard has also tufted her evil blond hair out with some styling paste and now looks exactly how Jenna Elfman will probably look in about thirty years. ["That's generous; Elfman already looks kind of mature. Moisturize, Jenna!" -- Sars] Everyone bugs and boggles until Ma Retard catches site of the fly that has been waiting and waiting for his big moment. I was so hoping she'd flick out a tongue and eat it, but instead she reaches down to her thigh and whips out a garter-secured knife. She flings the knife at the fly and stabs it into the wooden doorframe. Man, that was a long way to go for a knife trick. Also, I should note that, like all assassins, Ma Retard is wearing fishnets. Fishnets mean you are Up To Something. Pa Retard compliments his wrinkly wife on her technique, and Ma Retard preens. Speaking of flies, the Retard's gonna catch a couple dozen if she doesn't shut her slacked jaw but quick. Mr. and Mrs. Retard nuzzle at each other as Ma Retard moans grotesquely. Why are all assassins oversexed? Seriously, wouldn't it be a better cover if they wore Coke bottle glasses and pocket protectors and lived in their parents' basements instead of grinding around in sexpot outfits? Phoebe looks revolted, but Piper just says, "Oh, boy," and shakes her head in true Piperly irritation. Holly hates this episode as much as we do -- have a drink on me, kid.
Episode Report Card863 USERS: C
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