Ms. Hellfire

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Ms. Hellfire

Bane’s office. La Femme Brinda enters, followed by Bane. Bane harshes on her for killing Ms. Hellfire and lying to him. Barabas appears and greets her as Prue Halliwell. Bane freaks. Barabas divines that Prue’s "greatest fear" is . . . loose-fitting cotton clothing! No, her fear is "that someone will kill [her] sisters." He convinces Prue that demons have taken the form of Piper and Phoebe in order to kill them. Her mission is to kill the fake docile Ps before midnight. Prue assents.

Hey, cutesy tow-headed bowling alley woman, just shill the Midol without resorting to the "guys just don’t understand my period" male-bashing.

Halliwell Manor. Foyer. And I thought this episode contained no surprises! PHOEBE ANSWERS THE DOOR. It’s Darryl. Since he hasn’t done enough for the Halliwells today by covering up their murder, Phoebe demands that he "babysit" M. Steadwell. She adds that the docile Ps want to go find Prue, because they fear she’s in danger. Darryl wants to join them. Phoebe tells him not to, because she doesn’t want him to get killed like Officer Andy. M. Steadwell comes downstairs, followed by Piper. Darryl asks M. Steadwell to come with him. M. Steadwell blathers some more about her "protection spell" and that "her work here is done." The docile Ps patronize her out the door. Classy, Charmed Ones. Real classy.

Ms. Hellfire’s apartment. Phoebe and Piper enter, providing exposition about spying the black Porsche outside and knowing Prue must be around. La Femme Brinda comes toward them and shows them the telekinetic hand. The docile Ps are thrown across the room. They book away from Prue down a hallway. LFB flings a decorative plate at them, mouthing brainwash-speak about "protecting her sisters," although it isn’t much different than Shannen’s usual monotone. Phoebe and Piper run out to the penthouse patio. Piper has a brainstorm involving splitting up and causing Prue to astral Prue-ject, although it isn’t really clear how that might prevent them from getting killed unless they were going to lop off the head of the Prue that’s in a trance. La Femme Brinda walks out onto the patio. Piper runs up some stairs. Phoebe remains behind. Both Phoebe and Piper yell for Prue to come to them, just like that Disney movie with the runaway horse who had to choose between the little boy and the crippled girl. La Femme Brinda stands still and closes her eyes while Astral Prue appears and stalks Piper up the stairs. Piper suddenly realizes this was a stupid idea and calls for Phoebe to join her. What follows is a demonstration of blocking so inept it can stand next to any of the choreography Debbie Allen has provided for the Oscars. Phoebe walks by Astral Prue, who could easily have reached out and snatched her bald-headed, and joins Piper up the stairs. Piper and Phoebe start shouting out stuff to convince Astral Prue that they’re really her sisters, a lot of blather about leg warmers and Duran Duran that really just proves that they are cognizant of early ’80s pop culture. Phoebe then adds that she "taught [Prue] to kiss" and suddenly my world goes black again. When I come to, Astral Prue is gone and La Femme Brinda is back to normal. The Ps decide that they need to find Barabas and vanquish him.

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