Muse To My Ears

Episode Report Card
Demian: C | Grade It Now!
An episode that will live in infamy.

We're only twenty minutes in, and the secret phrase count is already up to nine. I do believe this is the most annoying secret phrase thus far this season.

Manor hall. Aftermath. The Ps plus the muse and the boys scamper down the stairs to the main floor. Eutwerpe's physical presence has set the Ps and, surprisingly, Cole into a frenzy of "creative" activity. Much to my chagrin, the director has chosen to emphasize this frenzy through rapid jump cuts from character to character as the hand-held camera swoops up and around and back and forth with some spinning and some more swooping and I swear to God I'm going to vomit if I don't condense this scene into a few short sentences. Piper decides that a potion to protect them against the warlocks is an excellent idea, and plans to start brewing immediately. Phoebe snatches up a pad of paper and a pen to compose a vanquishing spell. Raige retrieves her art supplies to produce a rendering of Cocky The Wonderlock based on Eutwerpe's description. Cole intends to travel to Hell with the Dolt to learn "who the faction leader is." The first three ideas are met with wholehearted approval. The last, not so much. The various Ps bicker amongst themselves over Cole's proposal, the argument growing increasingly heated as the camera work grows increasingly nauseating. Raige sides with Cole, Phoebe sides against him, and the final decision on the matter is Piper's to make. Cole will remain in the Manor to assist her with the potion, as his knowledge of warlocks should prove invaluable to the process. Cole, it should be noted, is less than thrilled with this outcome. At one point during the altercation, he spits the accusation, "You won't be happy until I don an apron and become your houseboy." If the apron fits, sweetheart. In any event, the group scatters.

By the way, Phoebe was rhyming throughout that last scene. Aren't you glad I kept it short?

Kitchen. Piper has eight pots simmering at the same time on the stove and the island. Cole, practically wetting himself over his excitement at finally having been, like, totally inspired by an actual muse, urges her to hurry. Piper counsels patience in matters both culinary and matrimonial. Cole's somewhat taken aback by this reference to his rejected proposal. Piper, Cole, and the Dolt use this opportunity to blather on endlessly about the underlying reasons for Phoebe's rejection. Phoebe's used to being the youngest sister and an "eternal child" and a person without commitments. Therefore, goes the dominant reasoning, growing up frightens the living crap out of her. There was probably more, but I'm sure we'll be hearing it over and over and over again for the rest of the goddamned season. Hey, gang? You succinctly and sufficiently made your respective points on this matter in "Black As Cole." Either come up with some new dialogue, or shut the hell up about it already. Piper eventually ends the discussion by refocusing her attention on her various potions. Cole asks to speak with the Dolt in private for a moment. They exit to the dining room as Piper stumbles across the correct mix of ingredients for the protection, signaled by the mixture igniting. Whatever.

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