Nymphs Just Want To Have Fun

Episode Report Card
Nymrods Just Want Demian Dead

Somewhere…else, my new brother-in-law tends to my husband's mangled arm stump. BIL's been practicing with the vanquished pansy's pan flute, and promises Xavy he'll convince the Nymrods that he's their new Seder so they'll lead him to the eternal spring, and BIL and my husband can live forever and ever. Scene.

Yeah, yeah. "Satyr." Like I care.

Manor. Attic. Piper. STILL BITCHING ABOUT THE GODDAMNED BOOK. Fast-forward. Fast-forward. I hope that Aboriginal Bunyip Demon isn't vital to tonight's plot. Aboriginal Bunyip Demon? What? Exactly. Happy Easter! Fast-forward. Fast-forward. Oh, look! It's the Dolt. He's arrived to lay a little "reverse psychology" on the Shrew's undeserving derriere. He sits her down on one of the attic couches and patiently explains that the Shrew should embrace Raige's enthusiasm for the Craft as an opportunity. The Shrew can now establish a bit of the "normal life" she's constantly moaning about not having while relying upon Raige to pick up the slack. "You're supposed to be on my side!" snits the Shrew. Rather than backhanding her ungrateful ass across the room, the Dolt simply smiles and assures her that he is, indeed, with her on this one.

Down in the kitchen, the Nymrods cavort in the corner while Phoebe helps Raige brew a potion to vanquish my husband. There's a bit of blather about the Shrew from Raige before Phoebe reminds her that the Charmed Ones work best when they work together. Upon Raige's snotty response, Phoebe simply rolls her eyes and heads out into the hallway to answer the conveniently chiming doorbell. Anorexia and Bulimia jiggle over to Raige, announce that she needs to revisit her "wild side," and plant sloppy wet ones on her cheeks. Bamp chicka bamp baow. Raige instantly morphs into Nymrod form. D'OH!

Out in the foyer, Phoebe opens the front door to find Chronic grinning bashfully on the porch. She blithers and dithers and tries to get him away from the Manor before he spots anything incriminating, but Raige and the Nymrods choose this moment to twitter out of the kitchen. "You found them!" yelps Chronic as Anorexia, Bulimia, and Raige giggle their way over to him to cop a feel. "Isn't that your sister?" Chronic continues as Raige and the Nymrods glide out through the front door. Phoebe phreaks, and elicits a promise from Chronic that he'll not tell anyone about what he's seen until they've had a chance to discuss it. With that, she shoves him out, then turns to bellow for Shrew and the Dolt.

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