Nymphs Just Want To Have Fun

Episode Report Card
Nymrods Just Want Demian Dead

P3. Tonight's guest alt-rock testicles howl from the stage as Raige and the Nymrods wiggle their way through the crowd at the bar. Brace yourselves for further hijinks.

But first, a word from our Shrew. Back at the Manor, the Dolt tries to pinch out Raige's location, but fails because she's no longer a witch. The Shrew briefly beats herself up for driving Raige into the arms of the Nymrods. Phoebe joins the pity party by moping something about her paper getting an exclusive just because she slept with her boss. Upon Phoebe's expression of remorse, the Shrew asks, "So, you're saying this is all your fault?" "Yep," admits the Feebs. "Good," the Shrew concludes. Shout-out? You decide. The club's manager phones to complain about Raige, and the Manor Three are off.

P3. Guest Testicles. Raige and the Nymrods, rubbing up against the Guest Testicles in a lewd and lascivious manner. Shrew and the Dolt barrel through the crowd, drag Raige from the stage, and berate her for abdicating her witchy duties. Raige huffs another whip-it and listens to her hair grow. One of the Guest Testicles' roadies arrives to bitch about the "groupies" ruining the show, thereby distracting Shrew and the Dolt long enough for Raige to escape from P3 with Anorexia and Bulimia. The Nymrods plus Raige flitter up the stairs to…

…materialize in the cluster of trees surrounding "City Plaza." My new brother-in-law stands by the fountain, badly mimicking the vanquished pansy's mad fluting skills from the pre-credits sequence. Xavy and I will have to do something about that after he gets his good firing arm back in working order, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. The Nymrods and Raige link hands to prance like the complete and utter jackasses they are as the camera cranes up into the commercial break.

Attic, the following morning. The Manor Three have spent the balance of the evening brainstorming strategies for locating Raige. The Shrew sees the error of her ways, admits she shouldn't have been so harsh as far as Raige's exuberance was concerned, and thereby gets her regular name back. The Percolated Infant wails through the baby monitor, so the Dolt hops off once more to see what the damn brat wants. Piper mentions Raige's four elements spell, and suggests that she and Phoebe complete it in an effort to find the Nymrods' home. As Raige had already collected water, fire, and air (in the form of Evian, a matchbook, and a folding fan with an American flag printed on the paper), Piper heads off to the garden for some dirt. Once Piper exits, Phoebe's cell phone bleeps. Phoebe glances at the caller ID, grimaces, and answers to find Chronic on the other end of the line. Seems a freelance photographer had been in Piper's club the previous evening, and he's now shopping around pictures of Raige and the Nymrods getting frisky with the Guest Testicles. Chronic would run the story were it not for his earlier promise to the Feebs. Phoebe snorts and instructs him to "go with it." She explains she doesn't have time to deal with their post-fornication issues at the moment, and hangs up. Chronic squints.

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