Charmed
Charmed

Episode Report Card
Owen: D | 508 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
P3 H2O

Camp Skylark. The lazy Ps pull up in Prue's convertible. Prue, in another wife-beater paired with some Daisy Dukes, gets out of the car. Pheebs, in a flowered lavender Danskin top and some ugly red drawstring pants with a ruffled waistband, joins her. As usual, despite the haste involved in rescuing innocents, Pheebs found the time to put her hair up in an intricate 'do -- this one involves a loose bun interwoven with thin braids and tiny flowerbuds. Phoebe's all about wondering how they can save the kids. Prue has an idea. Pheebs "loves it when [Prue] takes charge." Well, that's one of us. Prue says she'll dope the kids with Grizzly's magic powder. She sends Pheebs to keep the "prepubescent demon food" away from the water while she waits for the man, twenty-six dollars in her hand.

Grizzly's cabin. Prue struts in like she owns the place, without even knocking on the door. Grizzly is inside grinding an ax -- literally! He expresses his regret at not giving the sisters "a stronger dose." Prue bitches at him about how he's currently endangering the lives of innocents by not agreeing to help the sisters defeat the water demon. Then she lays into him about "sitting back" for so many years, "watching" all of the others drown in the lake. Grizzly listens to this while holding the sharpened ax, and I wait for the Friday the 13th homage to begin any minute now with a hatchet shampoo. But Prue switches her bitch off and gently convinces Grizzly that he still has "white lighter instincts" despite his "clipped wings." Grizzly gets all blubbery and expresses his remorse over Patty's death. He says that he only stayed at the lake to protect her daughters from the water demon, because he knew they'd inevitably show up. Prue responds, "You're going to defeat your demons, Grizzly, and help us defeat the one out there." Grizzly gives her a heaping dosage of the knock-out powder and replies that it's Prue's turn to "defeat [her] demons," too. Just when I think that the anvil-hurling competition is a draw with the "inner demons = corporeal demons" exchange, Grizzly holds up his ax and easily takes the gold by declaring: "Let's bury the hatchet!" I made the last part up; it really ended in a tie.

Halliwell Manor. Parlor. Leo speed-reads the BoS with glowing Tap Lights TM in his palms. He can't find anything on the Not! Ness Monster. Piper comes in, wearing a pink sleeveless turtleneck to match her calamine lotion and carrying a load of laundry. Hey Piper, if you're "contagious" with poison ivy, should you really be handling clean clothes? Oh, I get it -- it's payback time for the lazy Ps. Piper tells Leo to leave if he can't find anything to do there but feel sorry for her. Then she bitches at him for not being able to cure her of the poison ivy with his "healing touch." Leo forcefully "touches" his "heel" to Piper's ass. Actually, he explains that he can only heal when he's "allowed to, or meant to." Piper bitches some more about not being able to help the lazy Ps up at the lake. Leo says that maybe Piper's "meant to" be at the manor for some reason. Just then, Piper unloads the laundry and finds the Grizzly-Patty letters stuffed into a pocket, along with an anvil.

Charmed

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