Credits. I've been chastised lately for not giving this show enough "credit." In the holiday spirit, here goes: Wow! Those Halliwells! They put the "We Can" back in Wiccan! They surely do!
Satisfied? Now, back to the griping.
Ad. Novelty fragrances for preteen girls, I assume. Grapefruit, Cotton Candy, Gummi Bear, Vanilla, and Musk. Musk? Has anybody ever gotten laid wearing musk? ["No." -- Sars] On that note, perhaps parents should give their thirteen-year-old daughters musk; they'll remain virgins longer.
Ecch! As San Francisco is established, we hear the sounds of someone turning the ignition key of a car that's already been started -- also known in certain circles as Melissa Etheridge "singing." Not! Hill. Halliwell Manor, same day. Piper walks around the first floor of the house while she giggles and talks into the cell phone. She enters the kitchen and sits at the table next to Phoebe "Bare Voyant" Halliwell. Piper: "Pouring." She's talking into the phone as she pours her granola into a bowl. Cut to Dan "Mon Cheerio Amour" Gordon noshing on some unidentified sugary kids' cereal that might be Fruity Pebbles. If they are -- no comment. Dan, his mouth full, says into the phone: "Chewing." Owen: "Spewing." Piper: "I can't believe you eat that stuff." To her credit, Phoebe bitches aloud that "you guys are killing me with cuteness over here." Piper asks Pheebs if she doesn't have to be "someplace far away." Once again I must give Phoebe props, because she scoots her chair close to Piper and throws her plastic bracelet encrusted arm around her sister's shoulders like a true smart-ass. This was kind of funny, but there are times when I watch these grown women living in this mansion and acting and dressing like eighth-grade mall crawlers and I swear I'm watching Grey Gardens: The TV Series. Anyway, Dan invites Piper over to Gordon Manor "tomorrow, after Jenny's left for school." Once again in this episode I must give a despised character props -- at least Dan's not parading his bedmates past his impressionable charge like that randy Charlie Salinger up the street. Piper: "I'll take what I can get." Whatever that means. I take it to mean that if all the two of them have to talk about is breakfast cereal, there's not much else holding the relationship together. Oh, then Phoebe quips, "Nausea?" Word.