Charmed
Charmed

Episode Report Card
Owen: D | 508 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
P3 H2O

Camp Skylark. Mrs. Johnson serves Piper a tray full of cookies while blathering on about years ago when the Halliwell girls attended her summer camp. Or at least she tries to talk, because the actress -- who I spot as one of the elder Spelling players who I think appeared a few times on Fantasy Islandor The Love Boat but was never a big enough name to show up later as one of the parents on Melrose Place -- has had her face lifted more times than a champagne glass at a Mafia wedding. Phoebe, in a blue Lycra midriff-baring top and this really unflattering black striped mini with an asymmetrically cut hem worn over black leggings, joins her sister on the sofa, but not before grabbing the entire tray of cookies from Piper before her sister can have one. Then she sits there for the rest of the scene leaning forward, protecting the cookies on her lap and chowing down. The suspense is unbearable: Will Piper get a cookie? If not, will Piper kick Phoebe's ass here, or wait until they're back in San Francisco? Or will Piper wait until February sweeps to wreak Biblical vengeance on the lazy Ps for their shoddy Jan Brady-ish treatment of her? As I bite my nails, Mrs. Johnson cracks her taut Mary Tyler Moore/Carol Burnett post-op grimace wide enough to let the sisters know that Grizzly is a guy named Sam who lives on the lake, is pretty crazy and showed up when the drownings started.

Outside Mrs. J's cabin. Prue pulls up in Piper's SUV. She gets out. Now she's wearing a white wife-beater. As die-hard fans of Prue hope that this isn't the show where she ends up dead, I whisper my silent prayer that this isn't the show where she ends up drenched. Mrs. J and the docile Ps come out to greet her. Mrs. J goes on about how much Prue looks like her mother. Prue gives Mrs. J the stink eye and snaps that Piper's the one that resembles Patty the most. Prue's rudeness causes an awkward silence to fall. Mrs. J tells the Halliwell sisters goodbye, and adds her wish that they'll come visit again. Prue just looks at the ground. Rude much? Then we cut to a POV shot with the camera in the middle of the lake getting water all over the lens, implying something stalking the Halliwells on the shore.

Charmed

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