P3 H2O

Episode Report Card
Owen: D | Grade It Now!
P3 H2O

Halliwell Manor. Parlor. Phoebe sits on the floor, pasting papers into a book. Turns out she's putting Patty's steamy love missives in the family album. Ew! Although Pheebs has something in her mouth, she manages to mumble that "although this whole demon-fighting thing didn't bring [their] mother back, [she] got the next best thing." Okay. Hey, I just figured out what's up with her mouth! Gum! Forget talking -- Alyssa Milano's so dumb she can't even chew gum and chew gum at the same time. Leo orbs into the foyer behind Pheebs. Piper spots him and gets up to make some tea. She joins Leo in the kitchen. As Piper puts on water for some soothing herbal tea, Leo confesses his undying love for his beautiful soulmate although he knows it will never be, then Sarah McLachlan starts warbling and -- oh my. I was warned by Sars and Wing last summer when I accepted the gig to recap this particular show that it might happen. An empathy visit from Aunt Flo. Can you excuse me for a moment?

Seventeen minutes later, Leo and Piper are still breaking up. The oh-so-symbolic teapot comes to a boil, and Piper turns off the burner. Leo orbs off, allegedly for good, as Sarah works up to a cathartic caterwaul. Someone knocks on the kitchen door. Piper, all teary-eyed, goes to (natch) answer it. It's (natch) Dan, with his damned tray of lame breakfast cereal again. Piper says she isn't very hungry. Not a hint-taker he, Dan replies, "Come on, give it a try." He grabs what looks to be a piece of Cap'n Crunch and puts it in his mouth, attempting to make the gesture seem seductive and failing quite miserably. Piper goes with him out the door, as if he's that intriguingly cute rooster-haired boy from Roswell carrying a tray of Cracklin' Oat Bran.

Which just happens to be what Owen's asking Santa for for Christmas, if y'all were wondering.

Happy holidays to all! Have fun! Drive careful!

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