Charmed
P3 H2O

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Owen: D | Grade It Now!
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P3 H2O

The dock. The Halliwells all jiggle toward the lake. The docile Ps run out to the end of the pier and reach for Mrs. J's thrashing body. They call for Prue to help, but she's stalled on the shore, back in flashback land. Wee Prue Wan screams "MOMMY! MOMMY!" again, and her face fades into a close-up of catatonic older Prue. Grizzly comes running out of the bushes and tells the Ps to get away from the lake right away. Phoebe and Piper jiggle toward the shore as water sprays around them. Grizzly explains to the Ps that the demon only kills in the water. Prue gives him the stink-eye and tells him that they know who he is. Grizzly admits that he was Patty's protector, and adds that he knew the Halliwell girls would show up one day. Phoebe gets her bitch on and tells Grizzly that he has "no right to talk about [Patty]." Excuse me, but who brought up the subject in the first place? Shut up, Pheebs. Phoebe whines, "You lost that right when you lost her," then huffs off a few paces away. Can someone please send Pheebs to the WB's chapter of the "Motherless Daughters" support group stat? (As usual, Joey Potter will be moderating.) Piper asks Grizzly to tell them what he knows about the demon. He explains that the monster jumps from the lake into people's bodies and drowns them from inside. (Explaining why Mrs. J lived through two scenes and five commercials.) Grizzly adds that Patty used her power to freeze time -- same as Piper's -- to try to stop the demon, but her emotions got in the way and caused her to fail. He tells the Ps to leave the lake and not even try to fight the monster. Prue gets her bitch on and tells him they're not leaving, throwing out the ultimatum: "You have one chance. Get on board, or get out of the way." Grizzly agrees to get on board. Phoebe comes back from her snit and asks him how they can kill the demon. In reply, he reaches into his jeans-jacket pocket and blows powder into the three Ps' faces, declaring, "You don't." Then he hypnotizes them to go back to the city and go to bed, forgetting everything about him and the demon in the lake.

Halliwell Manor. The next morning. Holy Cessation of Dramatic Momentum, Batman! Owen groans about having to go through all of the machinations of the program's first half-hour ALL OVER AGAIN. Piper and Prue, in night clothes, greet each other in the upstairs hallway. Phoebe comes out of the bathroom in a pajama top with a towel pressed on her forehead. She bitches in her cloying baby voice about "not fee-wing so good." Piper starts to scratch her back and arms. The Ps are reminded of when Prue got poison ivy in summer cam, and figure that must be what's happened to Piper. Excuse me? The Poor Continuity Fairy must have visited her in the night, because I missed the scene from the day before where Piper rolled around in the underbrush. The doorbell rings. Piper (natch) goes to get it. It's (natch) Dan, with a tray holding two bowls of cereal. Piper doesn't remember inviting him over. Leo orbs into the foyer behind the door. Piper freezes Dan and asks Leo what's the big. The Ps join them in the foyer and Leo reads the Ps' beads for not being up at the lake fighting the Not! Less Monster. He tells them that Camp Skylark has re-opened despite Mrs. J's death, and kids are heading there as he speaks. The Ps are confused. Leo figures that Grizzly slipped them a "magical mickey," and fills them in on the sitch. Once the running time has been sufficiently padded, Piper shoos everyone from the door and unfreezes Dan. She blows him off with the excuse of "family stuff." Dan's fine with it, and is "just glad that she can tell him things." Since Leo's still hiding within earshot behind the door, Piper decides to twist a chopping knife into his heart by replying to Dan, "I feel that I can tell you anything." Leo winces. Run into the light, Leo Ann! Piper shuts the door. Phoebe and Prue decide to head to the camp. Prue grabs Piper's hair, calls her "contagious girl" and leads her toward the stairs, as Phoebe inexplicably fans her towel behind Piper's back. What the? The lazy Ps tell Piper to go back to bed and look up the demon in the BoS to find a way to defeat it while they head to the lake.

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Charmed

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