Parlor. At a microphone a singer croons, "If you were the only girl in the world, and I was the only boy . . ." Pre-Dan apes piano-playing in accompaniment. Pre-Piper watching the performance, sees fake Pre-Leo in the foyer. She wonders what he's doing there. He grabs her. She asks what's wrong -- this isn't like him. He agrees, and wipes the face off his head (tm Parker Posey in Dazed and Confused) to reveal that he's Anton. Meanwhile, in the sunroom, Pre-Phoebe walks up to Pre-Prue. She asks her cousin to talk with her upstairs. But Pre-Prue hears Pre-Piper being assaulted. The easily-startled speakeasy patrons start to bug out and run out the door. Anton struggles with Pre-Piper. Pre-Dan rushes to her assistance. Anton flings him back against the fireplace in the parlor. Pre-Piper puts Anton in slow motion (which I guess is Piper's unevolved power). But Anton quickly moves back to normal speed, and continues attacking her. The little girl runs up the stairs and watches the action below. Pre-Prue throws an icicle beam at Pre-Pheebs. What the? How did this "Mr. Cold Mizer" power evolve into Prue's telekinesis? Whatever! Pre-Phoebe's amulet glows, protecting her from Pre-Prue's frostiness. Pre-Pheebs asks her cousin how it feels "to be powerless against [her]." Pre-Prue distracts her with a camera flash and hurls her body at Pre-Phoebe as she ducks from the fireball Pre-Pheebs has shot in her direction. Pre-Piper knees Anton in the balls and pulls a grandfather clock on top of him. The pre-lazy Ps wrestle each other on the parlor room floor. The little girl watches all of this. Cut to an exterior shot of extras running out of the manor in horror. Meanwhile, inside, Pre-Piper grabs a curtain sash and puts it around pre-Phoebe's neck. Pre-Pheebs struggles on the floor while both her cousins try to strangle her. Pre-Prue grabs the amulet from her neck and throws it into the foyer. The little girl sees this. While Pre-Piper holds Pre-Pheebs' neck in the rope, Pre-Prue reaches into her garter belt for the written spell. The Pre-hard Ps declare that Pre-Pheebs is "evil" and they must stop her and Anton "in this life, and in any life." Pre-Piper asks God to "forgive" them, probably for the amateurish Hallmark verse the two of them recite: Evil witch in my sight/ Vanquish thyself/ Vanquish thy might/ In this and every future life. Pre-Phoebe glares at them as she chokes to death.
Episode Report CardOwen: D | 368 USERS: C+
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