Charmed
Charmed

Episode Report Card
Demian: B- | 409 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
PreBitched

"The Charmed Ones," the Blob oozes from the sofa in the 2K1 parlor. "What does a person have to do to get killed around here?" The gals tell him to cram it, and Piper freezes him. She supposes all she need do is keep him frozen until the new moon, but the Blob pulls himself out of the freeze. The Blob toddles out to the front door, promising more death and destruction if they don't keep killing him. "How many more people have to die before you do what I ask?" he menaces. "None" is Prue's reply, and she TKs a letter opener into his chest. Again with the Black Blob Spray, and there are only two lives left. Prue apologizes, but Phoebe reassures her that she'd have killed the Blob herself had Prue not done it first. Piper sighs that they have to try the BoS again. "No more pussyfooting around," Prue agrees. That's number five. If they try to hit nine, I'm heading to Los Angeles on the first flight out to shoot the writing staff in the head. The three head to the attic, and we cut to another flashback.

Grams randomly flicks through the pages of the BoS with her TK as Finola asks from off-screen, "Why now, Mother?" Grams, her blue blood boiling, asserts that she knows she's going to die soon. The bickering Ps aren't ready to assume the mantle of the Charmed Ones, and Grams will do anything in her power to prevent the sisters from gaining theirs after her death. Finola argues that it's not for Grams to decide whether the Ps are ready or not. Grams growls out her dissent, then clutches her chest in pain. She recovers quickly, however, and again tells Finola that the sisters "aren't ready," and that she "can't place them directly in harm's way." She bids Finola goodnight, and puts out the light. Finola and the glowing golf balls swirl on out of there. Grams TKs the BoS shut, then sends it gliding into the trunk where Phoebe will find it six months later. Oops. Am I getting ahead of myself? Sorry. She steels herself for what she must do next, and lifts the brown jar from the table. What she's planning to do is never really made clear, but I think I'm jumping the gun here as well. She leaves the attic, locking the door shut behind her, and steps out onto the landing. Grams suffers her final heart attack on the landing, and Jennifer Rhodes's stunt double takes a header down the stairs. The brown jar falls harmlessly to the carpet. Bad Bangs Mondo-Ass Piper and Her Hideous Knit Set rush in from the hallway. She calls for Prue and Phoebe, both of whom come to her aid, despite the fact that Phoebe is supposed to be gone for the evening. Wailing. Rending of clothes. Tearing of hair. Gnashing of teeth. And then Energizer tries to sell me batteries.

Charmed

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